Bad Boy vs Nice Guy: what women will never tell you

“Bad boys finish first, and nice guys finish in the shower.” – someone on the internet.

There is some truth to this sentence… but it completely misses the whole picture.

So if you identify as a nice guy, don’t worry.

Because you’re actually in a much better spot than you might think you are.

I’ll explain why…

And also how you can attract women without being a complete d*ck.

Let the bad boy vs nice guy battle begin.

Why Nice Guys finish last

I’ll tell you immediately why:

Because nice guys are the true a**holes.

Confused?

You better be.

But you’ll understand why in a second.

Nice guys are hiding their true intentions.

They are lying to themselves and women.

Their thought process:

The more time they spend together with her…

Do things for her…

And treat her nicely…

The more plus points they’ll build up. So eventually, the woman falls in love with them.

But that’s not how seduction works.

On the other hand:

The asshole doesn’t care about the woman’s feelings and just wants to collect another trophy by sleeping with her.

And yet, women feel attracted to him.

So what’s going on here?

Are women just stupid?

Let’s take a closer look:

Bad Boy vs Nice Guy Psychology

If you are an honest and trustworthy guy it’s easy to fall into the Nice Guy Trap.

First, women constantly send mixed signals about what they want in a man.

So it’s not your fault when women say things like: “Omg, why can’t all guys be like you” and then proceed to date idiots and complain afterward… again and again.

Second, we’re raised to believe that women are perfect angels who are not into sex.

So men need to be nice and hope and beg to get sex as if sex is a transaction that only benefits men… which is NOT true.

Third, modern romantic movies do a terrible job of educating you about dating.

Every movie plot is the same:

Become her best friend so she’ll choose you who was always there for her after being tricked by an a**hole.

These are the 3 main influences and experiences that make a lot of guys feel frustrated with women.

But instead of blaming society or Hollywood for our misery as nice guys (been there, done that)…

Let’s look at what bad guys do differently to attract women… and then see how we can use these learnings to our advantage.

What do women love so much about Bad Guys? (And dislike about Nice Guys)

Bad guys are d*uchebags.

They mistreat women and play with their feelings.

And yet, they have a certain appeal.

So what makes bad boys so attractive to women?

Let’s look at 3 key behaviors and what effect they have on women:

Do you see a pattern in these graphics?

If you look closely, you’ll realize:

The main reason why bad boys are attractive is that they are unapologetic.

In other words: they don’t change themselves or their opinions for anyone.

Not even the woman they’re after.

This communicates power and confidence, two key personality traits women are attracted to in a man.

And there is a hella good reason for that…

If we look at this behavior from an ancient perspective, it means:

If there’s a dangerous situation for the woman and her offspring the ‘bad guy’ would probably protect them and not change his mind at the last second.

This is why women often overlook all the bad shit he does and justify staying with him by saying things like, “I can change him.”

Even though we all know how this turns out.

Also, they often know that women are not innocent little angels who don’t like sex. But they understand that women are, in fact, more perverted and dirtier than men. Women just keep their desires hidden because of societal pressure.

If you don’t believe me, read the book “My Secret Garden” and get ready for a massive surprise.

Alright, now the most important part:

You’re aware of the important traits and behaviors women genuinely find attractive…

But how do you express them without having to become a soulless demon (aka bad boy)?

Before I tell you, let me clarify one last thing:

Do women always prefer the Bad Boy?

Yes and no.

When she’s younger, most likely yes.

The reason is that bad boys can talk to women without trying to impress them at a very young age.

This kind of makes bad boys their best option because most nice guys sit at home playing Pokemon (I still do).

However, a woman’s preferences can change over time.

As she gets older and more disappointed with bad boys, many tend to switch over to Camp Mr. Nice Guy. This is why many women end up marrying nice guys after having a string of bad boy boyfriends.

The good news though:

You don’t need to wait until your late 30s to get your dream girl.

You can get the same results without becoming an as*hole.

How to get bad boy results with good guy behavior (+why it’s better)

Now, I could just tell you:

1. Politely disagree with a woman if you have a different opinion
2. Don’t apologize for your actions (like after getting rejected for a kiss)
3. Accept the fact that women love sex and give it to them, lol

While all this is true, it isn’t actionable, right?

These behaviors are good to create initial attraction but they are not enough. You also need to create trust and a deep connection for her to want to stay with you.

How?

The secret: vulnerability.

Let me explain:

Did you ever ask yourself why people sympathize and root for the underdog?

Like… the main character of a movie, for example?

By sharing the vulnerable side of a movie character, you emotionally connect with the character and start rooting for him or her to succeed.

Dating works the same:

If you admit your flaws in a way a woman can relate to, you help her connect with you emotionally, so she’ll think and care about you.

Vulnerability is so powerful because it’s the opposite of trying to impress her.

It’s like saying:

“This is me. I don’t need to hide anything. If you like me, cool. If not, that’s fine, too.”

At the same time, it shows her you have balls.

Because you’re not waiting for her approval. You tell her who you are and she can choose to accept you or not.

That’s power, my friend.

You can add vulnerability within the first opening message with a woman:

If you want more examples and deeper explanations of how you can start a conversation with women, check out my free conversation starter template.

Try it out and send me some screenshots of the results you got 😉

Your Efficient Dating Advisor,

Herman The German