How to approach women without being creepy

Imagine you’re in a grocery store.

You see a beautiful woman.

She’s all by herself. 

You look at her.

And she looks right back.

You consider going up to her…

But something holds you back. 

An invisible force that stops you from taking a single step towards her.

This force has many names: Approach Anxiety, Fear of Rejection, Lack of Confidence, etc. 

And once it takes control, there’s nothing you can do.

The result…

She walks away, and you won’t see her again. 

That’s not the outcome you’re looking for, right?

So, I wrote this article to show you how to approach women even if you feel nervous. 

“To approach or not to approach?” 

First off, you don’t need to look for signs a woman is sexually attracted to you before approaching. 

However…

I understand why many guys obsess about signs. 

The human mind craves certainty like a mouse craves cheese.

But after 10+ years of watching my clients approach women, I discovered a simple truth:

Never judge a woman before talking to her. 

For example, a woman with a resting bitch face can turn out to be quite friendly. 

I mean, do you always walk around with a giant grin on your face?

And if a stranger introduced herself, would you bash her skull in?

So, don’t look for permission to approach. 

Otherwise, you might let the love of your life walk past because she wasn’t smiling. 

But now the question is, how do you find the courage to approach?

How to get over the fear of rejection 

There’s a widespread urban myth:

Exposure therapy cures approach anxiety.

In other words, if you approach enough women, you won’t fear rejection anymore. 

Heck, this is precisely what I thought when I started all these years ago. 

It seems very straightforward and logical.

Especially since exposure therapy, for example, helps people overcome their fear of spiders. 

But when it comes to dating, there are significant downsides to it: 

Downside #1: If you have a job, you won’t have the time to go out every day to approach a gazillion women.   

Downside #2: You’ll feel like sh*it because of the Approach Paradox. 

If you set the goal to talk to 20+ women every day, you’ll also need to talk to unattractive women to meet that goal.

Because you can’t control how many beautiful women you’ll meet during the day. 

Now, women have much higher emotional intelligence than us. So, if you approach women you’re not into, they’ll notice that something is off. And they’ll reject you. 

You’ll feel awful and start over-analyzing what you did wrong.

But the truth is you were doomed from the start. 

You shouldn’t have talked to them in the first place because the rejection was guaranteed.

Downside #3: Talking to many women won’t stop you from feeling nervous.

You’re fighting a battle that can’t be won. 

You’re supposed to feel nervous. 

It’s your subconscious telling you that you like her. 

When you’re hungry, how do you know you’re hungry?

You feel it, right?

It’s the same here. 

Guys who can approach feel nervous as well. 

But they just learned how to do it despite their feelings. 

As Mark Twain said: “Courage is not the absence of fear, but the mastery of it.”

Downside #4: You’re curing the symptoms but not the core issue. 

The actual question you need to solve is: “Why am I afraid to talk to her in the first place?”

The short answer:

You believe you have nothing to offer… or that you don’t deserve a girl like her. 

I wrote an extensive article about how to overcome both to become a confident man.

Now, I don’t want you to miss out on meeting someone because you haven’t buried your fears yet. 

That’s why I want to share my Efficient Conversation Starter with you.

How to approach women and start flirty conversations with the Efficient Conversation Starter

Most men who approach women fall under three categories:

1) They use pick-up lines to break the ice.

2) They brag to prove how amazing they are.

3) They pretend to ask for directions or what time it is because they’re afraid to make their intentions clear. 

Those are all major turn-offs for women. 

But don’t take my word for it.

Here’s a video from Kama TV asking random women about the top 3 mistakes most guys make when approaching:

So, what would be a better approach? 

An approach women actually appreciate.  

Let me introduce you to the Efficient Conversation Starter. 

It consists of three ingredients:

Ingredient #1: Prepare her for the approach 

You need to grab her attention and silence her Ignore-him Autopilot. 

We all know how it is:

UNICEF workers, homeless people, salesmen, etc., approach us all the f*cking time. 

So you have to show straight away that you’re not one of them.  

For example, you can say: “I know this might sound weird.”

Ingredient #2: Admit what’s holding you back 

Most men try to hide their insecurities and fears. 

That’s why they use funny pick-up lines to impress women. But women intuitively know when a man pretends to be confident. 

So I want you just to admit whatever is holding you back from talking to her:

If you feel nervous, say it.

If you think she is out of your league, say it.

If you believe she has a boyfriend, say it.

It sounds counterintuitive, but it works. 

She’ll think you’re a hero, because facing your fears takes a lot of balls.

You could say something like: “I’m actually really nervous right now.”

As a side bonus, studies show that addressing the elephant in the room makes you more relaxed. 

And this makes it easier for you to make a lasting impression.

Ingredient #3: Make your intentions clear 

“Why are you talking to me? What do you want?”

It’s the first thing she’ll think about when you approach her.

So  just tell her the reason:

“I think you’re really beautiful, and I wanted to come over and say hi.” 

Now, let’s put all the ingredients together:

“I know this might sound weird. I’m actually really nervous right now. But I think you’re really beautiful, and I wanted to come over to say hi.”

This is just one example of how to start the conversation, but I have plenty more for you.

7 Real-life examples of the Efficient Conversation Starter

If you want to see 7 real-life examples of the Efficient Conversation Starter + a video case study of how my client Timo (a shy mechanical engineer) got phone numbers and dates… then follow this link:

Click here to make almost any woman interested in you

Your Efficient Dating Advisor,

Herman The German