The 3 Pillars of love: how to make a woman fall in love with you

“Yes, I do.”

Three magical words every man wants to hear from the woman he loves. 

The only question is, how do you get her to fall in love with you and only you?

And more importantly, how do you hold on to her love, so she won’t one day seek attention from another man and cheat on you. 

After 10 years of helping single men attract & keep the woman they want, I identified the patterns of how to make a woman fall in love with you:

Your relationship needs to be built on the 3 Pillars Of Love.

All my happily married clients use them to create the foundation of a lasting, loving, and loyal relationship.

The 3 pillars are so powerful that my clients refer to them as the love potion. 

But that’s not all…

If you give me the next 7 minutes of your undivided attention, I’ll also show you:

• How to create an intimate connection, so strong, to make her open up to you and reveal secrets she won’t tell another man
• The #1 sex hack from Esther Perell (bestselling author and world-renowned psychotherapist) to keep the spark in your relationship, so she lusts after you like a hormone-crazed teenager
• A scientifically proven way to satisfy all her romantic needs so you become her only logical choice

Are you ready?

Let’s go.

Pillar #1: Intimate Connection 

Webster’s dictionary states: “Love is attraction based on sexual desire.”

But sexual desire alone is simply not enough to make a relationship last. Otherwise, every woman would marry their high school sweetheart… or fall madly in love with a one-night stand. 

Plus, no matter how hot you are for each other initially, sexual desire will fade over time. 

They call it “Puppy Love” for a reason. 

Eventually, the sexual novelty of a new relationship will wear off. It’s like seeing your favorite movie for the first time compared to the 10th time. 

There are ways to bring the spark back into your relationship, which I’ll reveal later in this article. 

But the question now is: how and why do couples stay together in a happy and loving relationship for 40, 50, or even 60 years?

I’ll tell you:

Their relationship is built on something more important than just sex. They share an Intimate Connection. 

Let me explain.

If you share an intimate connection with someone, you know everything about the person – especially their personal fears, concerns, weaknesses and flaws.

Most importantly, you accept, appreciate, and respect each other’s strengths, weaknesses, and flaws without judgment.  

And by doing that, you’ll form a relationship where you encourage her to show her true self. 

Now, compare that to what most guys do. They’re only trying to impress women with superficial things, like:

• Buying her extravagant gifts
• Inviting her to expensive dinners
• Or flexing with your car, money, and college degree

As a former investment banker and certified financial engineer, I’m guilty of having done the same. 

But if you focus on superficial things, your relationship will stay on a superficial level.

That’s why you need to focus on building an intimate connection. To do that, you need to do what most men will never do out of fear of getting rejected because they think it makes them look weak and unattractive:

To be vulnerable and show her your true personality – with all its colours.

Because only if you’re comfortable expressing your true self, she’ll feel comfortable expressing hers too. And if you can set this foundation of complete openness, you’ll be the one guy she can fully let go with.

And boom. 

You went from being “just another guy” to… “OMG, whenever I’m with him, I feel so good, and I can just be myself. God, I wanna see him again, NOW!”

Just think about it. 

Women also fear being rejected for all their quirks, weaknesses, and shortcomings. 

But imagine how it would feel if you could share all your thoughts and feelings and know without a doubt that she accepts and loves you, no matter what. 

Boy, it’s hard to compete against a guy she feels this level of connection with. Good luck being more attractive with the funny joke you recently read on some Reddit post.

And this is not just my opinion; this concept is based on the reciprocity principle in social psychology.

Pillar #2: Sexual Attraction

Pop-quiz: What is a relationship without passion?

A friendship. 

This is why an intimate connection alone isn’t enough. Otherwise, you would simply date your best male friend. But since you’re reading this article, you’re interested in how to make an attractive woman fall in love with you. 

Sexual Attraction and Intimate Connection go hand in hand when creating long-lasting love. 

Still, many guys believe you first need to build a friendship and later turn it into a relationship. 

And by doing so, they fall into the Nice Guy Trap. Ending up being heartbroken because the girls they want don’t want them back. But it’s not their fault. They simply imitate what they see on TV. Basically, all romantic comedies follow the same storyline:

1. Multiple guys chase the same woman 
2. In the beginning, she goes for the jerk 
3. But in the end, she falls in love with the nice guy 

No wonder many guys are confused about love if this is the information they are presented with day in and day out:

• Act nice
• Do favours for her
• Offer to pay for everything 
• Show your feelings with a grand romantic gesture 

But there are three major flaws with the Nice Guy Strategy Hollywood doesn’t tell you…

First, almost everyone is treating her nicely. So how is she supposed to know you want to be more than friends when you just treat her kindly but never express how you feel? 

Second, a big romantic gesture out of the blue will put her on the spot and apply massive pressure on her to make a decision she might have to first think about. So she’ll most likely say no because you overwhelmed her.  

Third, let’s assume she has the same feelings as you but is too afraid to admit them: How will spending money on her and doing favours make it easier for her to tell you how she feels?  

Now, does it mean you need to act like a jerk if you want to get her?

Absolutely not. You can get her attracted to you and keep the spark in your relationship without wearing a leather jacket, riding a Harley, and developing an alcohol addiction. 

How?

The fastest way to get her sexually attracted is by creating sexual tension.

Think of sexual tension as a push-up bra and make-up for men.

You can use it to attract her initially but also to spice up the relationship with her long-term.

But how do you create sexual tension?

Let me show you: 

When you start dating, you can create and intensify sexual tension by using:

• Eye Contact 
• Voice Tonality 
• Body Language

If done correctly, you’ll soon start noticing the signs she’s sexually attracted to you. For example, playing with her hair or looking at your lips, imagining what it would be like to kiss you. 

Next, once you’re in a serious relationship, you can utilize the Power Of Distance to trigger sexual tension. 

Esther Perell, a famous psychotherapist and best-selling author of Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence, says familiarity is the #1 attraction killer in any long-term relationship. 

She suggests giving each other space to miss one another:

• Take separate day trips and mini holidays
• Spend time apart throughout the day, even if you’re working together
• Don’t spend the entire day in the same room, even if you live together 

And to avoid familiarity in the bedroom, some things you can do are:

• Roleplay
• Wearing costumes and wigs
• Having sex in unfamiliar places (like a hotel you both didn’t stay yet)

Remember: “The same boring routine will kill the spark in your relationship.”

Besides creating sexual tension, if you want to keep the fire alive in your relationship, then you have to make sure she respects you as a MAN. 

There are multiple ways to earn her respect, but you can start by:

• Setting goals for yourself, no matter how small (losing 3 pounds) or big (working on your career goals).
• Not giving up when you hit a setback but continue to move forward.
• Remembering to stay humble and praising others more than yourself for their role in your success.

Women love ambition in a man. It shows them that you’re reliable. So you’ll make a great husband and father. Something every woman respects.

In fact, ambition is such an attractive quality that a study even suggests women can smell ambition in a man. 

Pillar #3: Consistency 

The more time you spend together, the more fond you grow of each other.

Breakups feel so bad because you already spend so much time together. This is a scientifically proven fact. It’s called the Mere-Exposure Effect and is quite powerful. This is why you like your favourite movie star without ever meeting him. 

Watching his movies repeatedly makes you feel like you have a bond with him. 

Of course, time alone won’t make her fall in love with you.

But if you mix it with Sexual Attraction and Intimate Connection, you have a very potent love potion. 

To use Consistency to your advantage and make her forget about all the other guys, do the following things:

• Don’t take her for granted
• Respect her opinion even if you disagree 
• Show your appreciation for all the small things she does for your 

The best advice I can give you is to take on the mindset that you’re fighting for her love every day. 

Do that, and she won’t have a reason to seek attention from random guys. 

Also, the more time you spend together, the more she’ll trust you if you keep your promises and stick to your word.

The golden rule is: Never promise something you don’t intend to keep, no matter how small. Saying you’ll take the trash out today and then do it tomorrow doesn’t seem like a big deal… 

But for her, it is. 

She’ll think: “If I cannot trust you with taking the trash out, how can I trust you with more important things like picking up our kids?” 

Additionally, the longer your relationship lasts, the more opportunities you have to demonstrate that she can feel safe with you.

Here are some of the things you can do:

• Stick up for her when someone else is putting her down
• Give her a shoulder to cry on and vent about her problems  
• Offer to help her when she really needs it, even if she didn’t ask for your help
• Never talk bad about her to your friends or share her intimate secrets with anyone

Do them, and you’ll become her rock. 

The foundation of how to make a woman fall in love with you

Combine the three pillars of love, and you’ll become her only logical choice:

• Intimate Connection = She fully trusts you and cares deeply about you as a person
• Sexual Attraction = She wants you as a Man
• Consistency = She can’t imagine being without you 

Well, it’s not a coincidence. I created the 3 Pillars based on a neuroscience discovery called the Triune Brain. 

Simply put, our brain is actually made up of three brains that constantly communicate with each other.

First, there is the reptile brain, which is concerned with survival and reproduction. Sexual Attraction satisfies the desires of her reptile brain.

Second, is the logical brain. It’s responsible for all our analytical and critical thinking. An Intimate Connection satisfies it because now she has a logical explanation for why she loves you. 

Third, there is the emotional brain. Responsible for all your… well, emotions. Consistency satisfies it. The more time you spend together, the deeper her feelings will grow for you. 

As you see, science can be an excellent wingman. 

Your Efficient Dating Advisor,

Herman The German