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The secret reason most men fail with beautiful women and what to do about it

By Herman The German
(Dating Engineer)

Updated September 23, 2024

“Wow, look…

She’s so hot. No way she would go for a guy like me.”

Whenever I saw a pretty girl, I was a victim of the Out Of My League Syndrome. But I couldn’t help it. Pretty women just scared the living hell out of me.

So I never dared to talk to them. 

On the other hand, I had no problems talking to girls I had zero interest in. Ultimately I kept on settling for girls that liked me, but I never was really into. Sounds familiar, right? 

I kept on settling until I discovered a secret…

A secret that made it very easy to go for women I thought were totally out of my league. And today, I’ll share it with you to save you from the frustration I experienced for many years. The best part is that it will take only one tiny mindset shift to start using it immediately.

But to really get what I’m about to reveal, you need to understand something else first.

Table of Contents

4 Shocking facts about beautiful women every single man must know

Do you know the Achilles heel of a beautiful woman? 

You might think women have it pretty easy in dating. So it’s no surprise that almost no guy ever tries to see dating from a woman’s perspective. Yet, looking at dating through the lens of an attractive woman reveals many things that help you get way ahead of other guys.

Only problem: most women are too afraid to admit these harsh truths.

What are these truths? 

Let me tell you:

1. The most beautiful women are the loneliest ones

This one is hard to swallow but hear me out…

When I was in New York for the first time, I saw a beautiful woman walking a cute dog next to my apartment. I couldn’t resist, I had to pet the dog. (Didn’t see that coming, huh?)

So I did what every Gentleman would do: 

I went up to her and asked if I could pet the dog, and we started talking. She told me she was a professional dancer and didn’t have much time to care for it. Slightly confused by her answer, I asked her why she got a dog in the first place. And to this day, I still cannot forget her answer:

“I got the dog, so I can meet guys.”

Now, I had question marks all over my face because I didn’t get it.

She was an amazing woman; surely she didn’t need a dog to meet a guy. But in her mind, it was the best tactic to find a boyfriend. Back then, I didn’t understand it.

But the fact is: most men are too intimidated by her looks to make a move.

This isn’t my opinion. It’s been scientifically proven in a German study. In this study, scientists picked six women rated 0 – 5 stars on an attractiveness scale. Next, they took pictures of these women, showed them to a group of men, and asked them to pick which woman they’d ask out on a date.

These were the results:

Six women are sitting next to each other. The most attractive woman sits on the left, and the least attractive one on the right.
When guys had to pick who to ask on a date between six women, most of them played it safe and asked the average-looking women.

Shocking, isn’t it?

Surprised by the results, the scientists asked the guys what influenced their decision. Here’s what most of them said:

“I’m too intimidated to ask out the really beautiful woman. She’s out of my league, so why bother? I’ll get rejected anyway.”

With this in mind, the scientists repeated the experiment with another group of men. But this time they said: Whoever you pick will say yes to a date with you.

Notice any changes in the results?

Six women are sitting next to each other. Men are fighting to go on a date with the woman on the left while the others are getting ignored.
When guys were asked who they would ask on a date without the possibility of getting rejected, almost all guys picked the most attractive women.

Quite a significant difference, isn’t it? 

But what does it mean for her? 

Her beauty is a curse.

Most guys want her but are too intimidated to approach her. In other words: she doesn’t have many options, goes on fewer dates, and thus feels lonelier than an average-looking woman.

2. Many women use online dating out of necessity

A woman explains via text that she's on Tinder because guys don't approach her.
Since most guys are intimidated by beautiful women in real-life, women have to use dating apps like Tinder to meet someone.

We established that most guys are afraid to talk to her in the real world because of her looks.

So how else can she meet someone? 

Online Dating.

Full of enthusiasm, she signs up on Tinder only to realize that her dream of finding Mr. Right online quickly turns into a nightmare:

It's a woman's Tinder inbox full of messages from men.
Attractive women are getting bombarded daily with messages on Tinder. Making it very hard for them to pick who is a good guy and who is a creep.

The guys afraid of rejection in real life bombard her with boring, insulting, and creepy messages online.

Now she has to look for a decent guy among them, and it’s like looking for hay in a needle stack. This is NOT what she imagined dating would be like. Trust me, no girl dreamed about being swept off her feet by a guy messaging her with ‘Hi’ or ‘Wanna have sex?.’

But what choice does she have?

She’s not getting any younger, and her mom and friends are constantly bugging her about when will she finally meet someone decent?

Get 7 copy & paste messages to start flirty conversations on any dating app

photo1
becomeherman.com copy and paste template

Try them, see her answer, and use the messages any time you want, on any girl you like, forever

3. Pretty women are self-conscious about their looks

Women spend a fortune on makeup and other beauty products to look good.

The beauty industry is worth over 500 billion dollars.

Yes, you read that correctly: $500,000,000,000.00… that’s huge.

The average woman spends around $313.00 per month on her appearance or $225,360.00 dollar over her lifetime.

Just ask yourself…

Why would women spend a fortune on:

  • Lipsticks
  • Makeup
  • Push Up Brahs
  • Shoes
  • Clothes
  • Hairdresser
  • Designer bags

If they felt just being themselves was enough?

A woman compares herself to the girls on magazine covers, Instagram, and TV because they imply that she’ll die alone unless she’s good-looking. 

So while you’re thinking: She’s out of my league.”

She’s thinking: “Am I pretty enough for him?”

4. Cute women are afraid to f*ck it up

Most women are worried about f*cking things up by saying or texting something stupid to the guys they like. 

Sound familiar? 

How do I know this is true?

Two reasons:

First, as we saw earlier, most guys are too intimidated by her in real life. And online, she’s bombarded by guys that give her the creeps. So when she finally meets a great guy, it’s only normal she’s afraid of screwing things up.

Imagine if you could meet a new girl you like only once a year:

Wouldn’t you be nervous about making mistakes and losing her?

Secondly, check this out… 

Search results from YouTube when you look for texting advice for women.
If women weren’t afraid to make texting mistakes, those videos wouldn’t have millions of views.

If you type in YouTube or Google “How to text a guy,” you’ll stumble across countless articles and videos with millions of views.

On top of the list, you would find Matthew Hussey. A dating coach teaching women how to meet and get their dream guy. His channel, as of today, has almost 2.5 million subscribers.  

If all women were so great at texting, then why does his channel have so many subscribers and his texting videos millions of views?

Now that we cracked a few female psychology secrets, it’s time to figure out how we can use this newfound knowledge to our advantage. (In a good way, of course) 

The real reason most men fail with beautiful women 

The previous German study showed that most men are too intimidated to talk with beautiful women.

I know this doesn’t come as a surprise. But what should be new to you is the understanding that stunning women are lonely and struggling in their dating life. So the secret reason why you fail to get an attractive girlfriend is that you’re ultimately rejecting yourself.

There’s no Out-Of-Your-League Police stopping you.

And attractive women would be glad to meet you if you gave them a chance.

In fact, once you become a confident man getting a date with a beautiful woman is much simpler than going out with a girl you’re not really into. It took me years to realize this.

To show you how this discovery could change your dating life forever if you act on it, let me share the story of how my client Nore met his wife… 

How to attract women that are out of your league

Man and woman holding hands and walking down the streets.
My client Nore and his wife Alexandra walk happily in the streets after applying what I taught him.

This isn’t a stock image but my client Nore with his wife, Aleksandra.

If you look at him, you wouldn’t believe he has any trouble getting women:

  • Handsome
  • Intelligent
  • Successful

According to society, everything a woman wants in a man and everything a man aspires to be. 

But back in 2015, despite his looks and success, he couldn’t get a date with an attractive woman even if his life depended on it. Why? 

He was simply too intimidated to approach a girl or ask her out. But I think I will let him describe it to you in his own words.

This is one of the messages he sent me before I taught him my Efficient Dating Systems Made in Germany:

It's a Facebook message in which a man shares about his childhood.
Despite everything he had going for himself, Nore felt he wasn’t enough to attract and keep the woman he wanted.

His childhood experience created the wrong belief that he isn’t worthy of women.

This is very common among men. Something in our past is holding us back from dating success. For me, it was my female teacher calling me a loser that made me believe I don’t deserve women. For Nore, it was the bullying he received from his two older sisters. One day, he was fed up that all his friends seemed to have it so easy with women while he was struggling.

So he contacted me to help him out. 

Now, before I could teach him my Efficient Dating Systems to get and keep an attractive woman…

I first decided to address his inner demons. Otherwise, he wouldn’t be able to use anything I teach. What’s the point if you know exactly what to say to a girl, but you’re too afraid to say it

So we started our coaching by focusing on the following:

  • I showed him what women want from men and made him realize all the qualities he had that a woman would find attractive in him using my Instant Confidence Methodology.
  • We worked together to eliminate all the emotional baggage that kept him from going for the women he liked.
  • And last but not least, I explained to him in excruciating detail how beautiful women also struggle in their dating lives. 

Once we finished, the first thing he told me was:

“Omg, I have to go and talk to girls and share with them the gift of Nore.”

This expression gift of Nore made me smile at first, but then I realized he was right.

Introducing women to a great guy when they’re lonely is a fantastic gift to give to a woman:

It's a Tinder text message from a woman who explains that guys are too intimidated to approach her.
One of my French clients received a message showing attractive women waiting to meet you.

Nore was like a completely different man.

And I was so proud to see his transformation: From a guy who was shaking just from the thought of talking to a woman… To a man who saw it as his mission to introduce himself to attractive women. 

Sadly all good things in life come to an end, and we completed our coaching.

Nore flew back home. But it wasn’t the end of his journey and rather the beginning. 

Once he arrived back home, he started to text me things like this:

A client shares his dating success on WhatsApp with Herman The German.
After Nore followed my guidance, he started to see results once he got home and couldn’t wait to share them with me.

You can probably imagine how happy I felt reading this.

After a few more months of sharing his gift of Nore with multiple women, he met his wife, Aleksandra. A veterinary student who was modeling on the side. Needless to say, most guys are too afraid to talk to a girl like her. And he would have been one of those guys if he didn’t realize that beautiful women were dying to meet him.

They would have never dated, started a relationship, or gotten married.

Plus, I would have missed attending his wedding reception on a boat.

I was pretty drunk and danced so hard that my glasses fell overboard.

*Yikes*

Three men dancing together.
My client Nore and I are dancing here at his wedding reception. It was a wonderful ceremony, and I’m so happy I could show Nore the path to finally meeting the woman of his dreams.

How to build long-lasting confidence to get a beautiful woman

Next time you’re talking to a beautiful woman, remember…

Don’t let her beauty intimidate you. Underneath the pretty face is a human being dealing with her share of worries, fears, and problems. For your sake and hers, please make her day by telling her how pretty she is. And let her decide if she’s out of your league or not.

If you still feel like:

“Sure, this is great advice, but I still don’t have the confidence or anything to offer to women.”

No worries, I got you covered.

I wrote two articles just for you…

Just follow the link to discover how to become a confident man.

And click here to learn about what women want from men

Your Efficient Dating Advisor,

Herman The German

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Guten Tag, I’m Herman The German, original inventor of the Efficient Dating Systems Made in Germany.

I help analytical guys attract & keep almost any woman they want.

Using my background as a Frankfurt-trained financial engineer, I went on a quest to find dating patterns that truly work – my friends asked me to use my cold analytical skills to help them notice recurring patterns in their dating life.

This has been my single obsession since 2012.

Throughout my decade-long research, I was interviewed by German media, curious to know what I’d identified. And I was invited on many occasions to talk on stage as a guest expert – although I prefer the term life-long learner as I keep discovering new principles and techniques in my private practice.

As an introduction to my systems, I’m offering you to try my proven conversation starter template to make almost any woman interested in you, at no cost.

Claim your welcome gift now: www.BecomeHerMan.com/discover

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