He sold his best friend for $40.
During the day, he was struggling to find work and couldn’t find anyone who wanted to hire him. At night he was sleeping at the Port Authority bus terminal in New York City so he wouldn’t freeze to death in the cold winter. Running out of money and driven by hunger, he had a choice to make. Letting himself and his dog, his best and only friend at the time, starve to death or sell it and use the money to buy food.
To save them both, this is precisely what he did. With tears in his eyes, he gave away his dog for $40 to a stranger so they both could live.
A few weeks later a once in a lifetime opportunity came along. Someone bought the movie script he was working on for an unholy amount. And even offered him to play the lead part. Everything he was ever dreamed of came true.
But despite everything, he was unhappy.
Do you know why?
He was missing his best friend. His only friend, who supported him through the harsh times. Spearing no expense, he paid $15.000 to get him back. And even got him a part in his movie.
You probably saw him and his best friend starring together in Rocky I and Rocky II. His best friend was his dog, Butkus.
Probably at this point, you already know that I’m talking about Sylvester Stallone. Rambo himself couldn’t be a badass without his dog waiting for him at home.
Why am I telling you this? What does this have anything to do with dating?
Somehow, the myth still prevails that a real man doesn’t need anyone. In dating, a real man suppose to rely on himself and keeps pushing until he gets the girl he wants.
Today I’ll share two stories to show you how this myth can stop you from getting the girl you like. And you’ll also discover what you should do to make finding your dream girl easier.
A stripper and a dating coach walk into a mall…
He makes a fist.
“Are you a man or a chicken?” Said the dating coach.
The client replied: “I’m a man!”
The coach answered: “Then act like one.”
Many years ago, I coached alongside other dating experts at a 7 days event organized by a friend. On day two, the plan was to hit the streets of Belgrade so the clients could talk to women under our supervision.
Each expert took two guys under his wing. I remember it like it was yesterday. The sun was shining and the girls were wearing clothes not leaving much up to our imagination.
It should have been a fun experience for everyone involved. But what I saw shocked me…
One of the clients, Peter, was constantly beaten by his coach.
Peter couldn’t approach women no matter how badly he wanted to.
“Stop being a faggot! When I tell you to do something, you do it. Understood?” said the coach.
Everyone else in our group was just watching and saying nothing. Like we were guests on a trashy 90s talk show.
I thought, “We’re not preparing those guys to join the Marines. We’re not Drill Sergeants. And this is not the beginning of Full Metal Jacket.”
So I intervened. I told the “expert” to stop and that I would take Peter into my group.
The coach was bitching that it was not my place to tell him what to do. Obviously, a guy who has a small dick trying to compensate for it.
But I complained to the event organizer and told him to let me work with Peter. And demanded kicking out Mr. Badass Drill Sergeant immediately.
The other “expert” didn’t understand that Peter had a deep-seated fear of approaching. He subconsciously thought he was below attractive women. Believing he is not worthy to demand their attention. No amount of pushing him with words or violence would solve this underlying issue.
Actually, it would lead to the complete opposite. Peter would have shut down. Associated talking to women with pain. Ending up pissed off at the coach, the event, and himself. Believing dating isn’t for him. And either die alone or settle down with the next best girl who would allow him to touch her bobbies.
What he needed was the carrot and not the tiny stick of the “expert.”
Everyday, after our group sessions ended, I sat down with just him. I wanted to understand all the reasons holding him back from approaching women. So we could work on building his confidence and help him get rid of any emotional baggage.
“Is this Peter? And who’s the hot chick next to him?” Said the so-called expert green of envy 4 days later.
Everybody from the event went to the shopping mall to grab some food. And there she was a gorgeous blond stunner. Without hesitation, Peter went for it and start talking to her. Peter didn’t need me to push him. He pushed himself. He pushed himself into getting a date with a stripper who was shopping at Zara.
And I looked over to the Drill Sergeant with a grin, thinking: “In your face, you d*ck!”
Peter got lucky. Sadly things do not always end with a happy ending like this. The next story always makes me tear up whenever I tell it.
When the going gets tough, the tough settle for a terrible woman
“What do the cool guys have that I don’t.”
Daniel is a friend of a client of mine. He has a good job, is very bright, and works out. But still, he couldn’t get a girl even if he would be the only man in an all-female prison.
Fed up with his situation, he decided to do something about it. He found a 10-day program teaching how to seduce women. Offering to party and meet hot women while traveling through Eastern Europe.
This program didn’t come cheap. He had to spend his entire savings to attend it. But the program promised him to become as attractive as toilet paper during the pandemic. So he made his decision:
“A holiday full of hot women, and I’ll finally learn how to get the girl I want. When do we start?” He thought to himself before signing up for the program.
Somewhere around August, he packed his bags and flew all the way from Australia to Prague.
He was living the dream and could even give Casanova a run for his money. Going on dates with different women every day. He managed to get laid with a girl in Budapest. All thanks to his coaches pushing him daily to talk to at least 50 girls. He was happy, like a fat kid in an unsupervised candy store.
On the last day, the guys who organized the event asked him for a testimonial. He agreed as he thought he owed them a debt he could never repay.
The next day he flew back home to Australia. And he lived happily ever after… according to their testimonial page, at least.
But the story doesn’t end here.
Back home, he realized he couldn’t push himself to approach anymore. The program he paid for didn’t offer any long-term support. He had to rely on himself entirely.
Also, no one prepared him for the real world. He wouldn’t have time to talk to 50 girls daily unless he quit his job. Rendering all his seduction knowledge useless.
Whenever he saw a girl, thinking about whether to talk to her or not. Always the same thought crossed his mind: “She’s so hot, but I’m sure she has a boyfriend. Tomorrow I’ll talk to her.”
But tomorrow never came. No matter how hard he tried. He couldn’t do it. He got frustrated and angry with himself for not being able to apply what he had learned in Europe.
It only got worse when he visited the website of the program he attended. Watching testimonials from guys like him getting results. Forgetting that all of them gave testimonials in the spur of the moment when they were the happiest. But no video showing results after 6 months or a year.
Hmm… no testimonials showing people getting long-term results. Sounds a bit fishy, right?
Daniel though, was too emotional to see that he was tricked.
Before the program, he thought he could fix his dating life. There was still hope. But now, all hope seems lost.
In the end, he decided that dating didn’t work for him. So he fell into a downward spiral of taking drugs and drinking alcohol. Settling down with a girl he met at work, who he wasn’t into.
A girl so terrible…
If you introduce her to your mother, your mum would slap you and tell you to bring her back to the dump you found her.
Still, he was afraid to die alone, so he married her.
“Baggers can’t be choosers of women, right?” he kept on repeating to his friend.
His friend watched in terror as Daniels’s life ended up worse than the ending of Game of Thrones.
No matter how hard he tried, Daniel couldn’t accept that he got scammed. It wasn’t his fault. The coaching methods of the people he learned from didn’t produce long-term results. All he needed was to work with someone whose support didn’t stop after the program. And show him how to meet women even if he has a full-time job without pushing himself to talk to 50 girls a day.
But Daniel wouldn’t want to hear any of it. He made up his mind and decided that it was all his fault and that dating works for everyone but him.
This story makes me extremely sad. The idea that all you have to do is to push yourself ruined Daniel’s dreams, hopes, and life. He gave up and will never realize his full dating potential.
I have a confession to make…
As I’m writing this article, I’m scared. Not only am I scared… I’m mortified, like an honor student showing a failed test to his parents.
For many months I couldn’t bring myself to write anything. I was afraid that I needed to write articles in English and not German. That I didn’t know enough about writing yet, so I needed to study how to write first.
Then I worried my writing was so bad you wouldn’t get any value from it. That you would fall asleep, and I would lose you forever. Same as you probably feel when you think about talking to the girl you like.
Still, here I’m, and here you’re. Hopefully, reading up to this point.
How did I do it?
It was not by pushing myself to write something for you. Believe me, I tried. I forced myself to sit at my desk and write. I would enter a staring contest between me and the blank word document. And without putting up much of a fight, the word document always won.
So what finally got me to write?
Lots and lots of alcohol.
What helped me was the daily support I got from my friends, family, and my mentors. They all believe in me when I don’t. They see what I can become even when I cannot.
And whenever I need a push, I ask them for support and advice. With them having my back, I can defeat the blank word document monster daily.
What does this have to do with dating?
If you want to get the girl you want, work with someone who will be there for you throughout your entire journey. Someone who will not dump you after your coaching program is complete.
With this support behind you, you won’t need someone to push you. You’ll be able to push yourself everyday.
Your Efficient Dating Advisor,
Herman The German