The internet is full of websites claiming they have the best Tinder openers.
And now, in 2024 Tinder even started to suggest openers to you.
But are they any good?
I put it to the test.
I broke down Tinder’s suggestions together with the most popular Tinder openers online.
You’ll see the good, the bad, and the ugly. So you’ll know what openers women definitely ignore.
And at the end, I’ll show you a unique opener that works on any dating app.
But first, let’s look at the elements an opener needs to make a woman curious about you.
The best Tinder openers are (probably) not what you think
A new Dutch study makes dating gurus tremble.
For years, they have been racking in millions by teaching guys their funny openers that “can’t fail”.
But now science has caught up with what I learned through experience: Most women hate funny openers.
Shocking, right?
Luckily, the study explains why funny openers are so popular. It’s because guys just like them.
Furthermore, the study explains women only reply to funny openers if the guy has a great profile.
Does this mean it doesn’t matter what type of message you send?
Not at all.
There are ways to tweak your first message so she’ll look past bad Tinder pictures and a mediocre bio.
The 3 key elements all great Tinder openers have in common
The best Tinder openers…
1: Feel personalized
Women want to feel special.
Do not give them the impression you’re sending the same message to everyone with a vagina. Make sure to include her first name, at least.
Not only will this make your message more personalized, but you’ll also grab her attention instantly.
There’s a reason why in a giant crowd you would turn around immediately if someone screams your name.
Humans are wired to pay attention to our names.
2: Clear and not creative
When a woman has to think twice about your first message, you‘ll lose her.
So keep your opener simple.
3: Stand out
A woman gets on average 5 to 10 new messages on Tinder every day.
In other words, you have to compete against 5 to 10 guys on any given day – excluding the guys she’s already texting.
This means a boring message like: “Hey, how are you?”, won’t cut it.
That’s why you need to send something unique that she hasn’t seen before. But hey, that’s what you’re here for, right?
So let the breakdown begin.
Breakdown of 29+ Tinder openers for guys
First, let’s look at openers you can find online:
The most popular openers on the internet
Tinder Opener #1:
Breakdown: This opener uses a psychological trigger to get her to reply. The same that all the stupid pop-up ads use. It relies on curiosity. It can work, but it comes with a price…
How to improve: I wouldn’t send it. The issue is that you need to think up a funny answer when she replies. Also, you make it harder for yourself to transition into a normal text conversation. A conversation where you can get a date without playing her private clown.
Tinder Opener #2:
What a burn.
Breakdown: Insulting a woman is the fastest way to her “never-contact-again-as*hole“ pile. Do you like to be insulted by a stranger? Well, neither does she.
How to improve: This message is FUBAR (F*cked up beyond all recognition). Don’t ever use it.
Tinder Opener #3:
Breakdown: You can use this opener if she’s holding a book in one of her pictures. This opener will get a bookworm to talk and a Netflix binge-watcher to ignore you.
How to improve: Use her first name.
Tinder Opener #4:
Not bad at all.
Breakdown: Using her first name is a good idea. It gives the message a more personalized feel. Also, I can see this opener working well if she has pictures of her doing Yoga in her profile. And giving her three simple choices to reply makes it easy for her to answer.
How to improve: Don’t blindly copy-paste this opener if you’re not living in North America. For example, drinking Mimosas isn’t a thing. And it would be better to change the three possible choices based on what you see on her profile. Otherwise, you risk giving her the impression that you send this message to every woman.
Tinder Opener #5:
Breakdown: It’s not bad at all. What I like about the choices is that everyone can identify themselves. So, if you can’t think of anything else, this could be one of your go-to openers.
How to improve: Use her first name before you ask the question. It’ll make the message feel more personalized.
Tinder Opener #6:
Another match that will never reply.
Breakdown: It’s 💩. Women get emoji messages 54 million times a day. Unless you look like Brad Pitt, it won’t work. And even if you got the looks, a reply is not very likely. She’ll think you are too lazy or stupid to write a proper message.
How to improve: Write words instead of sending emojis.
Tinder Opener #7:
Yikes!
Breakdown: Seems like a pick-up line fresh from the suicide hotline. You definitely don’t want to talk about death when you’re starting a conversation with a woman.
How to improve: Just like you can’t bring back the dead, you can’t rescue this opener anymore.
Tinder Opener #8:
Breakdown: Ask your stoner friends this after smoking weed. But as an opener, this question is too strange.
How to improve: Nope.
Tinder Opener #9:
Barf!
Breakdown: You won’t get a reply with cheesy pick-up lines. The only thing you will get is a high five from Will Smith in the Fresh Prince of Bel Air.
How to improve: Leave cheesy pick-up lines where they belong… in the 90s.
Tinder Opener #10:
Breakdown: It’s an okay question. You can use it if you want. The only downside is she might need time to think about the answer. And the more she needs to think, the less likely she’ll reply.
How to improve: Prepare her first for the question before you ask. For example: “Hey *first name,* not sure what to text, but I have a question ready for a case like that.” Phrasing the question this way makes it more conversational.
Tinder Opener #11:
Cringe!
Breakdown: I can see it working on blonds from California with no brains. If you have a six-pack and are a Jersey Shore cast member. But for us normal guys, my advice is to forget this opener.
How to improve: Never send it.
Tinder Opener #12:
Breakdown: A very good question to ask a woman, but it’s a terrible opener. She’ll not reply or give you a very dull answer. In a relationship, that’s a different story. She would explain in detail what a perfect day for her looks like. And then you can use that information to surprise her later with things she’ll enjoy.
How to improve: Remember this question for your next relationship. But forget it as a Tinder opener.
Tinder Opener #13:
Breakdown: This opener is quite popular. And it may have worked for the creator in the past. But this opener has been more used than the right hand of a teenager during his “bathroom visits.” So the chances are high that the woman you’re texting with has already seen this opener. And if that’s the case, you can forget about getting a reply.
How to improve: Use a different opener.
Tinder Opener #14:
I’m at a loss for words.
Breakdown: I have no idea who ever thought this opener was a good idea. I guess the idea is to try to get a reply by teasing her. But calling a woman old is definitely not how to get her to reply. Age is a topic women are very sensitive about.
How to improve: Delete Tinder and pick up grannies.
Tinder Opener #15:
Breakdown: It’s creative, and you’ll stand out. But you won’t get a reply, at least not from a high-quality woman. She’ll see it as a cheap attempt to impress her by saying something absurd. If you want her attention that bad, she’ll think you lack female attention. And if women don’t want you, you’re probably not a good catch. So she’ll be off texting another guy.
How to improve: Don’t send it.
Tinder Opener #16:
Breakdown: I’m not a fan of using gifs in the first message, but it can work. The good thing about this message is that you admit you have no idea what to text. Why? Because it creates trust. If you are lost for words, you can use it.
How to improve: Add her name: “Me figuring out what my first message to first name will be.” It takes only a few seconds. But seeing her name will make her more likely to answer.
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Tinder’s very own opening suggestions
Now, let’s take a look at the openers Tinder has to offer:
Tinder Opener #17:
Breakdown: The question itself isn’t bad. And if she likes your profile, you could get a reply. But it would be better to ask this question later after she has warmed up to you.
How to improve: If you’re determined to ask this question as an opener, prepare her for the question first. Start by saying you’re not sure what to say, so you have an interesting question when you’re lost for words. Also, add her first name to give the message a more personalized touch.
Tinder Opener #18:
Breakdown: This message is BORING! I have no idea who creates those lame messages for Tinder. Probably a bitter guy who’s trying to cockblock you.
How to improve: Delete it.
Tinder Opener #19:
Breakdown: Without context, this question sounds quite creepy. You’ll give off serial killer vibes. Think about it: Would you ever go up to a stranger in real life and ask her that question?
How to improve: Don’t use this as your opening question. Later, when you talk about hobbies, you can ask this if you want to.
Tinder Opener #20:
Boring!
Breakdown: Her inbox is full of messages like this that she leaves unanswered. You won’t stand out. It’s just a more fancier way of saying hi.
How to improve: Trash it.
Tinder Opener #21:
Breakdown: Some women will reply because it’s not an ordinary question. But there are way better openers than this. I would give it a D- if we were in school.
How to improve: Trash it and start from scratch.
Tinder Opener #22:
Breakdown: It seems Tinder’s top suggestions are always some variation of saying hi. I’ll repeat myself like a broken record: Women are bombarded by “hi” messages. She’s immune to it.
How to improve: Click tap to shuffle.
Tinder Opener #23:
Breakdown: It could work well for shallow women. These women love to brag about their looks and how they look like some hot celebrity.
How to improve: If you want a girl with more to offer than her looks, use a different opener.
Tinder Opener #24:
Breakdown: Tinder, for f*ck sake, please fire the guy who comes up with those openers. No matter how you phrase it, just saying hi won’t cut it.
How to improve: You can’t.
Tinder Opener #25:
The date she’ll go on with the other guy when you send this.
Breakdown: She’ll think you’re a creep, as this question can be sexual. And if she believes you expect her to answer something dirty, she won’t reply.
How to improve: Can’t be saved.
Tinder Opener #26:
Awkward alert!
Breakdown: This question could come from an alien pretending to be human.
How to improve: Provide better would-you-rather choices that are less awkward.
Tinder Opener #27:
Breakdown: It’s a good question to test her character. It can definitely work as an opener. But I’d use it only if you can’t think of a better message.
How to improve: When you start a conversation, using a simpler question that doesn’t require thinking is better. Leave the deeper questions for later.
Tinder Opener #28:
Breakdown: It’s a bit flat for my taste, but it can work. Women love to talk about their personalities. This is why many women are so obsessed with astrological signs.
How to improve: It would be better to guess based on what you see in her profile: “Because of this and that, I think you’re an extrovert, am I right?” This way, the message won’t feel like it’s been copy-pasted.
Tinder Opener #29:
Breakdown: Sounds more like a question from a consumer protection agency than flirting. It’s too boring to work.
How to improve: Don’t use it.
Puh, that was a wild ride.
And before we finish this article, I got something for you.
Use this pre-made opener to make her want to know more about you
Coming up with a great opener is a b*tch.
But unless you’re a masochist, you don’t have to do it. You can use the same opener me and my clients are using every day to get women to reply to us:
Your Efficient Dating Advisor,
Herman The German
