I know the above title sounds too good to be true.
Usually, when experts promise to show you how to start a conversation on Tinder, they’ll give you a first message based on marketing techniques such as open loops or clickbait.
They’re like those weird online ads with captions like “Doctors hate this trick.”
Most likely, some smarty pants thought he could use the same techniques in dating, and everyone’s been copying him.
What I’m about to show you today couldn’t be more different.
Here’s why:
I’m not a marketer, and neither are you…
Well, even if you are, we’re not trying to get her to buy a product. Instead, we want to build a real connection.
In the next few minutes, I’ll show you:
- The best time to send a message to stand out from all the other guys fighting for her attention
- The step-by-step psychological breakdown of how a woman decides if she’ll text you or ignore you
- 5 Things you absolutely should avoid if you want her to reply
- A Real-Life Example of the Efficient Conversation Starter you can legally steal whenever you’re struggling to come up with your very own message
Let’s dive in:
How to start a conversation on Tinder
If you’re absolutely out of ideas, ask a question or to give a genuine compliment. Everyone loves to talk about themselves. So you can use to capture attention quickly.
I’m sure I’m not the first one to tell you this.
But if you’re in a rush, you can use this advice to craft a decent message.
Now, if you want to super-charge your opener and get tons of replies, do the following…
– Backed by behavioral science…
Send it, see how women respond, and use this conversation starter anytime you want:
12 simple ingredients to start a conversation on Tinder:
Here are 12 tips to start a conversation on Tinder:
1. Forget about pick-up lines
Yes, sending a generic line is better than sending a plain “Hi.”
In fact, chat-up lines seem like a great solution, especially when you don’t know how to text a woman efficiently. They promise fast results with minimal effort, but they do more harm than good.
Here’s why:
First, you won’t be the only guy using it.
The more guys send the same message, the less effective it becomes.
Second, let’s assume you still manage to get a reply.
Now what?
Most likely, you have no idea how to continue the conversation.
Even if the message’s original author knows how to move forward, it will be in his own style. So you have to rely on copying and pasting all of his subsequent messages. This eventually leads to two problems:
- If she goes off-script even a little bit, you won’t know how to react.
- Even if you manage to get a date, do you think she’ll notice that you’re way different in real life?
And if that happens, what are the chances you’ll get a second date?
Exactly, close to zero.
2. Don’t creep her out
After generic openers, sexual messages are the most common ones… crazy, right?
So it’s not surprising if women ignore you as soon as you’re too direct… even if it’s just a joke. Instead, earn their trust by making them feel comfortable.
The more comfortable she feels, the faster she’ll get sexual.
3. Stop saying “Hi”
Most first messages look like this:
- “Hi”
- “Hey”
- “Hey, gorgeous”
… and whatnot.
While these greetings look normal at first, they make it hard for women to reply.
I mean, why should she answer a message she has already heard 100s of times before?
Such openers are a missed opportunity. Because they don’t tell women anything about you.
Bonus Tip: Did you know the more unanswered messages you have, the lower your Tinder algorithm score will be?
The algorithm will assume women don’t want to talk to you.
4. Don’t share too much
A lot of guys think the more they tell a woman about themselves, the faster she can decide if she wants to be with them or not.
I explain how to build a great profile in detail in my article: How to get more matches on Tinder.
It’s true… but sharing walls of text right from the start is the wrong way to do it. It shows you’re putting her on a pedestal. Trying to qualify yourself, hoping she chooses you. A better way to share your strengths quickly is by having a great profile.
Sharing good profile pictures (that display your hobbies, job, friends, etc.) gives her a good idea of what dating you would be like.
And it does so without you explicitly trying to impress her.
Plus…
After you match with her, you can gradually text more about yourself.
5. Don’t insult her
Do you like to get insulted by strangers?
Well, neither does she. I know it can be tough sometimes to keep your cool, especially if she doesn’t respond. But it’s absolutely pointless to send something rude.
It might make you feel better, but it also kills every chance to get her a date.
6. Text her at Tinder Prime Time
On average, a woman gets 5-10 new messages each day on Tinder.
And some women even report getting as much as 150-200 a day. This means that even if you write the perfect message created by Shakespeare, she might not see it.
So to get the pole position inside her cluttered Tinder inbox, text her at the time she’ll most likely be online:
- Monday-Thursday 8-10 p.m.
- Sunday Afternoon or 8-10 p.m.
Saturday and Friday nights are the worst days as she is out with her friends.
7. Text her as soon as you match
“Don’t wait until it’s too late.”
With this simple slogan, you can remind yourself to text her when you match. As I mentioned before, a woman’s Tinder inbox is full of messages from guys fighting for attention. So if you’re during the prime time, text immediately after you match.
Otherwise, you risk that your message will collect dust inside her inbox.
8. Work on your presentation
Even the best first message may not work if your profile isn’t well-crafted.
Why?
Because this is how a woman decides if she answers:
- She reads your message
- She checks your profile again
- She replies
So make sure you have great pictures and a well-crafted Tinder bio.
9. Read her profile
Don’t be lazy!
When you match, take a minute and read her profile. It’ll pay off. You can figure out her interests and what you like most about her…
And all this information will come in handy when crafting your first message.
10. Mention her name
By using her name, your opening message will be personalized and will not look like a copy-paste message you send to every girl.
Also, there’s a reason why Dale Carnegie – author of the best-selling book ‘How to win friends and influence people’– said: “A person’s name is the sweetest sound they can hear.”
Because it simply works.
That’s why all the best openers include her name.
11. Admit the real reason why you’re texting
Most of us pretend to do online dating because it’s convenient.
While this may be true, there’s another hidden reason… Most guys are afraid of rejection, so online dating is the easier option.
But you know what?
Having fears can be your greatest ally in dating.
Let me explain:
An attractive woman has a sixth sense to spot guys who are pretending to be confident.
So don’t try to impress her by acting cool.
Instead, impress her (on a level most guys never will) by just admitting the real reason why you’re on Tinder. It will make you a hero in her eyes.
I’ll show you some real-life examples of exactly how to do that below.
12. Tell her that you find her attractive
Give her a reason why you want to talk to her.
In the book “Influence,” psychology professor Robert Cialdini describes a fascinating study on the power of giving people a reason when requesting something. The study concluded that adding the word “because” to a request made it much more that someone would comply.
In our case, just be specific about what you find attractive about her. Using “because” is good, but don’t get hung up on it. It’s still better to just mention a reason why than to say it.
Most likely, it was something about her profile that caught your attention, right?
Well, that’s your reason for texting.
By mentioning it, you also make your romantic intentions clear right away.This prevents you from getting friend-zoned.
Pretty cool what just a first message can do, right?
Tip: And if you’re wondering how to start a conversation on Tinder with a girl with no bio, just comment on her picture.
The Efficient Conversation Starter
What kind of message will you get by combining all the ingredients?
A message that creates a strong and unique first impression.
I call it the Efficient Conversation Starter.
Let’s take a look at a real-life example:
Efficient Conversation Starter – Real-Life Example
Try not to copy-paste this message, but use this article to craft your own version.
It’ll be unique, so you don’t have to worry about other guys sending her the same text.
More examples of the Efficient Conversation Starter
If you want to see more examples, follow the link below:
Click here to get my proven conversation starter template for free.
Your Efficient Dating Advisor,
Herman The German
