I feel this will be one of the most important articles I’ll ever write. Let me begin by asking you a question: Did you ever feel intimidated by the sight of an attractive woman?
If you said yes, welcome to the club. The more beautiful a woman is, the more guys are afraid to mess up their chances with her, to the point where they feel almost paralyzed.
On the other hand, imagine you talk with another girl you don’t really care about. Most likely, you’ll feel calm and relaxed. What’s the difference here?
It’s this: With the second girl, you don’t care about the outcome. Why is that important?
This tells us a few very important things you can use in your dating life. Especially if you want to meet beautiful women, you’d otherwise think you have no chance with her.
For example, if most guys feel intimidated by attractive women, then she doesn’t get approached as often as you’d think. And if she doesn’t get approached that often, there is less competition for you.
But more importantly, think about her perspective for a second. Everyone in her environment tells her how beautiful she is, yet, she can’t seem to meet that many men, let alone find the right partner for her. How does that make her feel?
Insecurities kick in, and she’ll think something must be wrong with her. She will look for the reasons within herself. It’s not uncommon for models to feel ugly. Despite all the compliments and praise they get…
Many of them have insecurities about their looks. And to be honest, it’s a known fact that we are our own worst critics. So what do they do? Exactly, they’ll try to look even better.
Want some proof? Look at a Cosmopolitan magazine and read the headlines. Most of the topics are about fancy makeup tricks and the latest fashion trends to look better. Then the cycle repeats:
Now she looks even better, and even fewer men approach her. She feels stuck and even more frustrated. So much so that she decides to go on Tinder. Yes, you heard right.
That’s the real reason why women are on dating apps. Not because they want to, but because they feel like they have no other choice. They struggle to find a partner in real life, so they try dating apps to compensate for that.
What does that mean for you? Well, there are a lot of beautiful single women waiting for you, so let’s get started:
Secret #1: Don’t reject yourself
Most guys reject themselves by not even trying to meet beautiful women. And that’s a big mistake. Let her decide if she’s interested in you or not. She’s a grown-up and can decide who she wants to spend time with…
So don’t take her chance away to find out about you even if you think she’s out of your league. Also, I won’t deny that looks play a huge role in initial attraction with women… but not as much as you’d think.
If you wonder how to attract women, check my article on how to create sexual tension. Speaking of that… The second secret to meeting beautiful women is:
Secret #2: Know how to spark sexual attraction
If she doesn’t feel sexual attraction towards you, you’ll never get past the friend zone. Most guys mistakenly believe attraction happens randomly, so it’s not surprising that they struggle to meet beautiful women. But the truth is you can create it willingly by using, what I call, Attraction Amplifiers. Here are some of them:
- Maintain eye contact
- Speak softly and slowly while looking into her eyes
- Pausing for a few seconds in between sentences when talking to her
- And many more…
A fair warning: It’s easier said than done, especially if you really like her. Because most men get nervous around beautiful women and therefore kill sexual attraction before it even occurs.
In fact, just as there are Attraction Amplifiers, there are also their counterparts, called Attraction Killers. Here are some examples of Attraction Killers:
- Smiling/laughing/nervously giggling in situations you shouldn’t
- Not maintaining or actively avoiding eye contact
- Speaking very fast and loud
- Fidgeting with your hands and feet
- Interrupting her while she’s talking
Secret #3: Don’t try to impress her
When I wrote my article on how to get more matches on Tinder, I asked the following question inside the article:
Who’s more impressive?
A man who lies about his fears and tries to compensate in other ways… Or a man who admits his fears and then decides to face his fears anyway?
Most people would say the latter because just the idea of it sounds somewhat heroic. In fact, I recently watched a video where a guy would openly talk about his most profound insecurity on YouTube. It has almost 14 million views and looks what people say in the comments:
People cherish him like a hero. All he did was be honest, relatable, and vulnerable in front of others. So quite the opposite of trying to impress. And yet, it’s impressive.
That’s because deep inside, we all want to feel understood. But we rarely get the chance to be so open about what really goes through our minds… because we fear being judged or rejected.
But you’d be surprised to see what happens once you learn how to connect this way with women instead of focusing on impressing them.
Because if you do this the right way, you’ll give voice to a problem she rarely, if ever, can talk about. And therefore, you’ll be one of the very few people (or the only one) with who she can completely be herself, which will make you special to her.
Obviously, this might feel uncomfortable at first, and you need to know how and when to share deep topics with a woman… But if you get this right, I’ll promise, your dating life will never be the same.
Women will respect you and feel drawn to you way more than you trying to brag or highlight your positive traits.
And not only that, if you’re not trying to impress her, you effectively communicate to her that you don’t really care what she thinks about you. Would you share a weakness with someone you’re trying to impress? Not really… you’d do the opposite. This brings me to the next secret:
Secret #4: Develop Self-Awareness
“Self-awareness is the ability to focus on yourself and how your actions, thoughts, or emotions do or don’t align with your internal standards. If you’re highly self-aware, you can objectively evaluate yourself. Manage your emotions, align your behavior with your values, and understand correctly how others perceive you.”
That’s how Psychologists Shelley Duval and Robert Wicklund define Self-Awareness. Or in other words: Self-awareness helps you to objectively interpret your thoughts, feelings, and actions.
And that’s extremely important since most men fail because they can’t make objective decisions about their dating lives.
We’ve all known someone who was BLINDLY in love, right? It’s impossible to solve a logical problem in such a state.
Only when practicing the art of self-awareness can you clarify your values, thoughts, feelings, behaviors, strengths, and weaknesses. And get out of your emotion-driven decision-making.
Secret #5: Get her to trust you
For a woman to open up to you, and I mean mentally and sexually, she needs to trust you and feel comfortable around you. Mother Nature can explain to us why that is:
Sex has far more risks for her than it does for you. She might get pregnant and be left alone to raise the baby. And a long time ago (let’s call it Stone Age), this would mean certain death for a woman.
So it’s not surprising that she wants to feel safe around you before shaking more than just your hand. This leaves us with the final question:
“Herman, how the hell do I build trust with women fast?!?!? Spill your secrets, NOW!!”
Because it’s a beautiful sunny Tuesday afternoon as I write this, I’ll tell you: The fastest way to gain trust is by opening up to her emotionally.
Or, in other words: Don’t just chronologically run through facts about you, like what you’re doing for a living or where you’re from.
And definitely don’t be asking for the weather… Instead, focus on telling her why you chose the career path you’re in…
Or why you enjoy living in the place, you currently live in (or if not, where you’d like to be and why). Once you do this, you’ll create a real connection, and trust like almost no other guy will ever have with her. And then, you’ll be more than just another guy for her.
Your Efficient Dating Advisor,
Herman The German