What women want from men (according to science)
Here are the 8 things women truly want from men:
1. A not giving a damn attitude
A**holes finish first, and nice guys finish in the shower.
But if that’s true, why?
Is it their douchebag behaviour that women are so magically drawn to?
Yes and no. You don’t need to treat women like sh*it so they like you. But what do bad boys and a**holes have in common?
- They don’t try to impress women
- They don’t care what people think of them
That’s their secret sauce.
Think about what nice guys do instead:
- They try to impress women by doing favours for them
- They brag about their achievements
But what do they communicate by acting this way?
That they don’t get any female attention whatsoever. So they’re begging for it like a dog begging for leftovers. Would you be kissing her a** or showing off if you have women lining up to meet you?
You wouldn’t care.
Because women would be like buses to you: there’d be always a next one coming. You may have even noticed the Bad Boy Effect if you’ve been in a happy relationship. Other women notice you without you having to lift a finger.
Nothing about you changed.
The answer: You weren’t trying to impress them because you were in a relationship. And they could sense it. Studies have shown that women are drawn to men already “selected” by other women.
I know what you’re thinking…
That’s great, but I don’t have a girlfriend, and women aren’t lining up to go on a date with me.
The good news is you don’t need to have a girlfriend. All you have to do is stop impressing women. I know. It’s simple in theory but not so in practice.
Here’s an example to show you how it works:
“Won’t she think I’m a total wuss?”
I guess this is what you think right now, so let me explain why this works:
Most guys would try to come up with something witty to start a conversation with her because they’re afraid of sounding stupid. The poor bastards don’t get that trying to be charming makes them unattractive. Women can see right through this act and know that you’re just pretending to impress them.
But by openly admitting your fear, you’re communicating that you don’t really care about what she thinks. This will trigger a thought process in her subconscious: “If he doesn’t need to impress me, he’s probably getting a lot of female attention.”
It sounds counterintuitive, but my clients and I use it all the time.
2. Women prefer taller guys
Studies have confirmed that women have a PREFERENCE for taller men.
The keyword here is “preference.” So it doesn’t mean that you can forget about getting an attractive girlfriend if you’re short. I have a client who’s 5.5 feet (1.69 meters) short and who’s constantly dating women taller than him.
He simply doesn’t see his height as a handicap.
If a woman asks him about it, he merely cracks a joke:
Research has confirmed what my client has figured out with my help already.
You can still get the girl with a great personality even if you’re shorter than the average guy.
3. Your personality is more important than looks
“Women are attracted to good-looking guys.
Even if you have a great personality, the first thing she’ll notice about you is your looks.”
Says every guy at the beginning of his journey to improve his dating life.
Well, it’s not that simple. Sure, women are attracted to looks, but not for the reasons you might think. We will explore later in the article why women like good-looking men and how you can trigger the same attraction without looking like Brad Pitt.
Multiple studies about partner preferences in both genders came to the simple conclusion:
- For men, looks come first and personality second.
- For women, personality comes first, and looks come second.
Here’s a video from Kama TV to help you understand the female perspective better.
The presenter asked random women in the streets of London if looks or personality is more important.
As you’ll see, most women agree personality is more important than looks:
Why do men care more about looks and women more about personality?
The simple explanation: As a man, you’re wired to find a woman with good genes. Someone capable of bearing healthy kids.
Subconsciously, you care more about her hips than her college degree.
A woman is wired to not only look for someone who has good genes. More importantly, she has to make sure that you stick around, provide, and help her raise the kids.
Subconsciously, she cares more about your dreams and aspirations than your dream body.
If you would ask a thousand women who their dream guy is, you’d get a thousand different answers.
Do you like the same girls that all your friends do?
But for argument’s sake, let’s consider a hot guy who is not only handsome but also well-groomed, ripped, and fashionably dressed:
Now let’s discover the real reasons why women would find him attractive:
Besides having good genes, what does he have to do to stay in top physical health?
He has to be disciplined enough to achieve and maintain his physique. And women are strongly attracted to men with discipline. They talk about it in female magazines all the time. But what other character traits can we deduce from his body?
- He is health-conscious, so he’ll probably live longer.
- He can delay short-term gratification (like eating an entire pizza) to achieve a long-term goal.
What does being well-dressed and groomed tell us about the guy?
It shows he has the social intelligence to understand that people judge others based on their appearance.
Now, what’s the biological purpose of attraction that ultimately leads to sex?
Do you think a woman wouldn’t want to have healthy, disciplined, and socially intelligent children who are capable of achieving long-term goals?
So good looks convey that you have all those things without saying a single word. But are there other ways of showing you’re disciplined and competent besides how often you hit the gym?
Definitely, for example, your career or studies.
Is it easy to become rich or famous?
No, it’s freaking difficult. Unless you’re born into the Royal family. In that case, kudos for winning the birth canal lottery. But for most people, it’s extremely hard. Think about Elon Musk.
How did he become the wealthiest man on the planet?
I’m talking about his character traits and values, not his products.
No matter what you think of him, you can’t deny that he…
- Is extremely ambitious
- Has a clear vision and focus
- Doesn’t care what others think of him
- Doesn’t get discouraged by setbacks
These character traits made him the richest man on the planet.
So is it the money, fame, and success that women would find attractive about a man like Elon Musk?
Or could it be the character traits that made him successful in the first place?
Serval studies have confirmed that women are drawn to a man who feels comfortable taking risks and speaking his own mind. So the good news is you don’t need to be successful in the classical sense with a giant mansion and a Ferrari in your driveway.
It’s more important to know what you want and go for it. And it can be anything.
No matter if your dream is to be an amazing high school teacher or the next Steve Jobs.
Fun fact: One study even suggests that an ambitious and confident man produces a specific scent that women find attractive.
So many introverted men believe you have to crack jokes and be the center of attention to get a girl.
What is it about funny guys that women cannot resist?
According to a study done by neuroscientists, humor is simply a sign of intelligence. Heck, even Sascha Baron Cohen (the guy who plays Borat) has a degree from Cambridge. Think about it…
To be a great comedian, you have to be a master of observing people and quickly turning what you see into a joke. That requires brainpower.
So what women actually want in a potential partner is not a comedian but someone who’s smart.
But is cracking a funny joke the only way to show her that you’re smart?
Whenever I ask someone this question, I always think about my client Benjamin. He is a computer programmer, and before I coached him, he believed he had nothing to offer to women. According to him, women only went for funny extroverts and not nerds like him.
That’s when I came up with my Instant Confidence Methodology:
I asked him a bunch of questions and made him realize he had a lot of things going for him. One of those things was that he’s pretty smart.
He couldn’t believe he had all this potential that he had never seen before. But we didn’t stop there. I wanted to prove that he has almost everything that women find attractive in a man. So we wrote down everything we discovered about him on a piece of paper.
Next, we gave his description to random attractive women. We waited till they finished reading it.
And then asked if they would love to meet a guy like that?
Virtually all of them said yes.
His personality, his looks, and his bank account didn’t change.
What changed was his perception of himself.
7. Kindness (the backbone of a healthy relationship)
The 6 things I mentioned so far are things women want in their romantic partners.
But if you want to win a woman’s heart and convince her that you will be an excellent boyfriend or husband, you need to embody one specific thing. So what is the one thing women want in long-term relationships the most?
According to a study conducted by the University of Göttingen, of the 68,000 women in 180 countries asked, 90% said kindness is the most crucial trait in a man.
Kind men tend to be more reliable and trustworthy.
They are men who keep their promises and won’t play mind games.
Kindness is especially what a mature woman wants in a man because she’s looking to have kids as soon as possible before her biological clock runs out.
8. Most women prefer mature men
Some men feel like their dating life has to slow down or stop at 35.
I cannot count how often I heard new clients, who are in their 30s, complaining: “It’s not as easy as it used to be. All the girls I like don’t find me attractive anymore.”
But studies found that women love to date guys older than them.
Women enjoy being with someone who has more experience than them.
For them, it’s important to be able to look up to their partner and respect them. Especially women who grew up without a father figure tend to date guys that are way older than them. A stereotype in society that is known as daddy issues. But it’s not only a stereotype, it’s actually been confirmed by a new study.
So if you’re an older guy looking for a younger woman, you’re in luck.
You might even have a better chance with her than much younger men.
What you need to start attracting women
To sum up, it’s not money, looks, and fame that attract women.
It’s about the character traits needed to achieve them.
Here’s another video from Kama TV asking random women in the streets of London about the personality traits they’re looking for in a man.
You’ll see it’s precisely the ones we already covered in this article.
So if you learn how to demonstrate these attractive traits to her, you’ll be able to get a high-quality woman.
You can start by discovering how to get more matches on Tinder without being extremely good-looking.
Your Efficient Dating Advisor,
Herman The German