You meet a woman.
You start talking to her.
It’s going well, but…
How do you ask for her number without being rejected?
Most guys try to get her number with small talk. They believe the more you talk, the more likely she’ll give you her number.
But is it true?
After helping men for over 10 years to get and keep the woman they want, I can tell you this strategy doesn’t work.
It’s not about quantity. It’s about quality. So how to ask for a girl’s number?
That’s what this article is all about. It will show you 4 simple steps to get a girl’s number so she’ll be excited to meet you on a date.
These steps work in clubs, coffee places, grocery stores, on the street, or wherever you want.
But that’s not all…
In the next few minutes, I’ll also show you:
- How to ask a girl on a spontaneous date while also getting her phone number
- What exactly to say if you want to get a girl’s number in under 1 minute
- How to ask for a woman’s number on social media or dating apps – Including real-life examples free for you to use
- How to get the number of a female college without risking your job or becoming the #1 gossip in the office
- What to do to overcome any objections if she hesitates to give you her number
Let’s dive in…
How to ask for a girl’s number and get a spontaneous date
Most men focus way too much on getting her number.
They idealize women’s phone numbers as some kind of trophy. Something to brag about to their friends. Believing the faster you get her phone number, the better. Even if it means she will never reply.
But can you go on a proper date with a number?
Can you have sex with a number?
Can you start a relationship with a number?
That’s why I want you to see her phone number as what it truly is: Not a trophy, but a means to stay in touch with her. Nothing more and nothing less.
I even recommend you only get her phone number as a last resort.
Focus on setting up a date instead.
Otherwise, you might get a girl’s number but miss out on taking her on a date. I repeatedly notice this when I’m listening in on my clients. They ask girls for their numbers… despite getting clear signals the girls want to be asked out on a date instead.
To give you an example:
One of my clients talked to a girl in front of a museum.
He asked her what she was up to? And she replied: “I’m waiting for the museum to open in 20 minutes.”
But what she actually meant was: “I’m free in the next 20 minutes. We can do something.”
He was so obsessed with getting her number he missed the hint. So he kept on talking and asked for her number instead. The only problem was she was leaving town the next day. But he didn’t know until it was too late. He could have spent the day and probably the night with her if he focused on getting a date instead.
Another reason why I want you to go on a spontaneous date instead of just getting a number is so you can use the power of what psychologists call the sunk cost fallacy.
The more time she spends with you, the more invested she’ll become. She’ll reply to your messages faster. And the likelihood of her not showing up to your first date decrease drastically.
That’s why I teach all my clients to prioritize:
1. Go on a spontaneous date: Ask her to have a cup of coffee with you in the next 20 minutes. After your spontaneous date is over, make plans for your first proper date and get the girl’s number just in case.
If this isn’t possible…
2. Then set up your first date: Save each other’s numbers so you can stay in touch.
If this also isn’t possible…
3. Ask for her digits: So you can connect with her over text and spark her interest in meeting you.
Now, let’s take a look at how to get a girl’s number…
4 Steps to get a girl’s phone number
You must approach her before you can ask for her number.
I wrote a stand-alone article showing you how to do this in detail.
Here’s the link:
Today we will focus on how to get her number. So without further ado, here are the four steps to get a girl’s number:
Step #1: Give her a reason why you want her number
She wants to know why you picked her and not feel you’d take out any other woman.
This tells her: You know what you want and aren’t needy. I learned this vital lesson from the book Influence by psychology professor Robert Cialdini. In this book, he describes people are way more likely to follow a request if you give them a reason why.
And to give her a good reason why… you need to get to know her better.
You need to dig a little about her interests, character traits, etc.
So ask questions about her job or hobbies, what she likes about them, and why she likes them.
This will give you that insight you’re looking for to provide her with a good “reason why.”
Step #2: Don’t just ask for the phone number… insists on it with confidence
Pulling out your phone, holding it in front of her, and telling her to give you her number is much better than hesitating.
Women can feel if you’re hesitating. And it gives them the impression you’re not confident. Subconsciously they will start to believe you’re not the right person to date.
So take the lead and be straightforward. She will not mind, especially after an exciting conversation. Studies have shown most women prefer it if a man takes charge.
But what if you’re too nervous to ask a girl for her number?
I get it…
In the beginning, asking a girl for her number can be daunting. So what can you do if you feel nervous about it?
In this case, the trick is to tell her you’re unsure how to ask for her number.
An example could be:
“You know what? I like how you [positive trait/fact about her], and I would like to know more about you… but I don’t know how to ask a girl for her number.“
If you think admitting that you feel nervous or not knowing the answer looks weak, think again.
Truth is, a woman will respect you for overcoming your fear just for her and taking action. It’s what women want from men, among other things.
You’ll know what I mean once you try this a few times.
Step #3: Call her as soon as you got her number
You have to make sure you got the correct number.
It would be too sad if you couldn’t contact her because of a typing mistake, right?
This is what happened to my best friend, Phong. He was in a hurry to catch a train. But he saw an attractive woman checking him out. He didn’t want the opportunity to slide despite. So he started to talk to her and asked for her number before boarding his train.
There was only one problem.
He was so nervous he kept on mistyping her number.
So she offered to type in her number on his phone. He boarded the train full of joy. After finding an empty seat, he wanted to text her. But the number she gave her was wrong. She made a mistake because she was nervous too.
You can imagine how pissed off he was.
And how often I had to listen to this story.
Once he cooled off, he asked me what he could have done differently?
I told him he should have called her on the spot. This way, he could have made sure he got the right number. And I told him he should have got on the next train.
Go on a spontaneous date with her instead.
A spontaneous date beats just getting a number any day.
Step #4: Give her a nickname when saving her number on your phone…
… And save yourself with a funny and cool name on her phone.
That way, you’ll be more memorable and stand out on her phone. Use something that came up in the conversation between you two.
To give you an example: my ex-girlfriend is a scientist. So after I got her number, I saved her as ‘Sexy Scientist’ on my phone.
And that’s it. This is how you ask a girl for her number. Keep these 4 steps in mind whenever you want to get a girl’s number.
Now I want to answer some of the most common questions guys ask me about getting a girl’s number.
What if you have to get a woman’s number quick?
Sometimes she’s in a rush, or you don’t have time to get to know her.
In other words, you won’t always have time to execute the 4 steps you learned. But it doesn’t mean you still can’t ask the girl for her number.
In this case, just be honest about it.
Tell her you’d like to get to know her over text. And once you get her number, text her straight away. While you’re fresh on her mind.
Like my client, Tony, did here after meeting a woman in a bank…
Now, what exactly should you say to get her number when you don’t have much time.
Here are two good examples I used when I had to get a girl’s number quickly:
1) She’s in a hurry…
“Before you run out of my life forever. You seem like a great person, and I would like to know you better. So let’s exchange numbers and stay in touch.”
2) Your friends are waiting for you…
“My friends are waiting for me. But I would like to get to know you better. Would you be opposed to giving me your number so we can stay in touch?”
How to ask for a girl’s number online
On a dating app, you can just say you’re easier to reach on WhatsApp.
Most likely, she also prefers texting on WhatsApp over dating apps. For that matter, I never met a woman who likes to text on Tinder. Especially if she enjoys your online conversation.
So don’t be surprised if some women will even ask you for your number or social media contacts.
Of course, most girls will not be so direct.
For them, it’s your job as a guy to ask for her number. But it’s effortless if you connect with her and find some common ground.
Here’s an example of how to ask for a girl’s over text:
Now, I prefer to ask for her number online if I have already confirmed a date with her.
In this case, the number is a formality to text each other if plans change.
So how to ask a girl for her WhatsApp number if you have already set up a date?
How I usually do it… I ask her out first, then I swap numbers with her. Usually, the woman will add me and text me herself on WhatsApp. Which shows me clearly she’s interested in me.
Bonus tip: If you wonder how to get a girl’s number on Instagram?
What works for Tinder will also work on Instagram or Facebook.
How to get the number of a female college
If you work together, you have to consider all your co-workers.
If they find out about you two, they will start to gossip. It’s human nature. This could put a strain on your new romance. Even if she likes you, she might consider not dating you because she doesn’t want others to find out.
The key to getting her number, a date, and more is Discretion.
You need to show her you can be discrete. And it’s not enough to say it. You need to show it.
There are two ways to do it:
The first way is to ask for her number in front of others…
But in such a fashion, no one would ever suspect you want to date her.
“Hey, Sandra (use a work-related excuse to get her number). What’s the best number I could reach you outside the office to discuss my idea?
Preferably while asking her, create sexual tension using your eye contact and body language. This way, only she can sense your true intentions, but no one else. If you’re unsure how, then this article will show you how to create sexual tension.
Once you have her number, text her this:
“Hey, I have to come clean. There is no project. I just didn’t want to make a big fuss in front of everybody. But I like you and would love to get to know you better outside the office.”
It also works very well at parties or the university when asking her out in front of mutual friends.
The second way is to wait for the right moment to ask her when no one is listening…
Once you’re alone with her, say:
“I didn’t want to announce it in front of everybody. But I like you and would love to hang out with you outside the office.”
Side tip: Once you start dating, keep it to yourself.
She will trust you more.
Even though she’ll tell other women in your office about your relationship, guaranteed.
How to ask for a girl’s number at a bar
You can use the 4 steps you discovered before in bars and nightclubs.
But you should consider a few things:
- Loud music
- And she’ll get other male attention during the night.
You should aim to hook up with her. But if it’s impossible, then her number is the next best thing.
Take her somewhere quiet in the bar and ask for her number.
You should save yourself on her phone with a hilarious name and text her immediately. And get her to text you back right on the spot. Even better, continue texting with her throughout the entire night.
She needs to remember you as the high point of her night.
Otherwise, there’s a good chance she might not recognize who you are the following day.
What to do if she hesitates to give you her number?
It doesn’t mean she’s not interested. It likely means she’s not ready to give you her phone number yet. This can have various reasons, like a bad experience with another guy. No matter what, don’t argue with her, and don’t get mad. Instead, be non-reactive.
Say, for example:
“Okay, I guess some other guy called you 10,000 times a day until you blocked him.”
And then ask for her Instagram or Facebook contact.
How to ask a girl out after you get her number
Remember getting a girl’s number shouldn’t be your end goal.
Her number is a way to stay in touch with her until you’re both free to meet up. So don’t focus all your attention on her number. Instead, focus on getting a date with her.
Now, if you got her number but haven’t asked her out yet, don’t worry.
I’ve written an article to show you how to ask a girl over text.
Your Efficient Dating Advisor,
Herman The German