It’s a disgrace.
You chat with her for a week, getting all excited.
You make plans and get dressed up.
But then, she cancels without having put in any effort.
All the time you invested: wasted within seconds.
I know that most online dating experiences can feel defeating.
But once you crack the code, you’re in for a ride!
So today, let’s crack the code of how to get dates on Tinder:
- How to set up a profile that gets her curious about you
- Make the Tinder algorithm your best friend to get more matches
- The number one key to holding women’s attention and getting flirty
- And finally, how to ask her out so she’d feel stupid to cancel on you
Here’s how to set up a date on Tinder in 9 simple steps:
Step #1: Delete Tinder
Chances are, you’ve been making various mistakes Tinder hates without realizing it. So you might experience fewer matches and fewer dates, even if you spend money on the app.
This first step is crucial for you. There are a few sins many guys commit when using the app, that cause the Tinder algorithm not to be amused. So it gifts you with limited exposure, hence less results.
The most common algorithm sins include:
- Swiping right on every profile
- Having low match rates leads to even worse match rates
- When women don’t respond to your first messages
- Or worse, women unmatch you (often)
The good news: you can ‘undo’ these mistakes and reset your account for better results.
The only problem is that this process usually takes up to 6 months after deactivating your account. But there’s also a way around that. Once you deleted your old account and are ready to set up a new one, make sure you:
- Use a different internet IP
- A different phone and/or SIM card
- And sign up with a new email address
In other words, you want to be a completely different person when signing up again, so Tinder can not trace back who you are and “shadowban” you again. Also, if you ever plan to make an in-app purchase, I recommend using a different credit card.
Once done, you’re ready for the next steps.
Step #2: Grab her attention and get dates on Tinder
Creating a good profile can feel like writing your resume.
It’s tedious work, but it needs to be done. In fact, once you have great pictures that get her attention, you pretty much created a 24/7 attraction machine, generating matches even while you’re asleep.
The best profiles have smart sequences of pictures that give women an idea of how it would feel to date you. In other words: show her the facets of your personality by uploading pictures that express your best character traits.
Your first picture should always be a close-up headshot. These always get attention. Make sure to look your best on this one, preferably with the help of a professional photographer.
Then, show her who you are. Are you creative? Perhaps a musician? Have a picture of you playing an instrument.
Are you a competitive guy? Show her. Try getting a picture of some activity where you give it your best, like during sports.
The key is to make it look like some friend took a picture of you while immersed in whatever you like most. These don’t need to look professional. It’s all about authenticity here.
Step #3: Get a second opinion
Want to know if your profile is any good?
How do you know which images of you are the most attractive ones?
Finding an answer to these questions can be tricky because opinions will differ. So, the best thing you can do when asking female friends for feedback is to ensure they represent the type of woman you’re after.
If that’s not possible for you, you can still get your pictures rated by a bunch of women online.
It’s a website called Photofeeler. They allow you to upload your pictures and let women on their platform rate them.
For example, they can rate how attractive or how smart you look. This can also help you when trying to express certain character traits. If you wonder why these women rate your profile, it’s pretty simple.
To use the website for free, you also need to rate pictures. Not of other guys, but women. By rating pictures, you earn credits, so you can upload more pictures to get rated.
If that’s too much of a hassle, a paid version lets you upload your pictures without having to rate others yourself.
Step #4: Write a bio to make you stand out
Love it or hate it.
Your Tinder bio can make a difference, although not as much as many guys think.
Still, a university study showed that having a profile bio can get you up to four times more matches than not having one. So unless you look insanely hot in your pictures, you should have a good Tinder bio ready.
How do you write a good Tinder bio?
One of my favorite and most straightforward bios is admitting a random fact about yourself to spark a woman’s interest because any guy can write it in just a few minutes.
Here’s an example:
If you want a full explanation of the bio and even more inspiration, check out my complete Tinder bio guide, where I breakdown over 200 Tinder bios so you know exactly what you should and shouldn’t do in your bio.
Step #5: Get the Tinder algorithm on your side
I know it’s more comfortable.
But you now know that swiping right on every profile, like it’s your last day on Tinder, does make the algorithm your enemy. So, what can you do instead to get the most matches possible?
First, make sure you swipe during the most active times on Tinder. This way, you’ll access a much larger pool of users and have a higher chance of getting more matches. Generally, the best times to be active are between 6 and 10 p.m. and on Sundays.
The same applies if you use a boost on Tinder. You want to ensure you use them at the best times to maximize every second of it.
Second, make sure to swipe in different locations. This can also expose you to even more women and get you more matches. Good examples include your workplace, the supermarket, or a friend’s place while taking a dump. Thank me later.
Step #6: Grab her attention with your first message
Knowing how to start a conversation on Tinder can feel like an art.
Because often, you don’t know why your first message worked or didn’t work.
Also, if women like it, you’ll get more matches. If most of them don’t reply, you’re in trouble. Tinder will assume women are not pleased with how you write and, therefore, give you less exposure.
Brutal, I know. But Tinder wants to keep its most important audience, women, happy. Otherwise, they’ll be out of business if all the women leave.
If you want a first message that gets her attention and perfectly sets up the conversation for a date, the best advice I can give you is to check out my free Conversation Starter Template.
Not only will you have a kind and hairy German guy send you interesting emails about women and dating once in a while… inside the template, I’ll also show you precisely what you should write (and why!).
Even better, I’ll also show you how you can create your very own version of the conversation starter so you have a great first message that’s uniquely yours.
Step #7: The key to hold a woman’s attention online
Want text conversations like this?
The secret to great conversations and getting more than just one-word replies is entirely different from what most guys think. Most men think they need to be overly sexual or incredibly funny to hold a woman’s attention.
Your main goal when texting should be to build trust and ignite a feeling of chemistry first. Because once you do that, all the rest, like dating, kissing, and sex, become a logical consequence.
You have to lead the conversation toward her motivations to build trust and create this sense of connection and chemistry.
For example, if a woman tells you she’s studying medicine, you must find out why. Now, often, you’ll get a superficial answer from her. That’s OK; you haven’t built enough trust yet.
The way around that is to talk about your motivations first so she feels comfortable sharing hers.
Step #8: The secret to setting up a date on Tinder
The best way to ask a girl out is by giving her a reason why you want to meet her.
A reason that’s about her personality is so she doesn’t feel treated like meat.
Because guess what, that’s what all other guys do, telling her how beautiful she is and what they’d like to do with her if she’d lie next to them in the bed right now – definitely the wrong time and the wrong place for that.
But if you can give her a reason why you want to see her specifically, she has a reason to feel excited. Give her the gift of feeling special, and you’ll soon discover why this is so powerful. I promise.
Step #9: Plan the first date the right way
Here’s the thing:
Even if you’re the best conversationalist on earth and beyond, you’ll eventually reach a point where it might get hard to keep the conversation alive.
So you want to make sure to plan some activity. This not only helps you to maintain an exciting date, but it also fuels further conversations because you have more things and memories to talk about.
When it comes to dates, I always like to remember the following sentence:
Motion creates Emotion.
Doing fun and exciting activities is always a good idea. So stand up and ditch boring restaurant and cinema dates. They can be good, but not for the first date.
Find out what activities you enjoy and invite your date to join you. You’ll far more likely enjoy your dates, and so will she.
Your Efficient Dating Advisor,
Herman The German
Frequently Asked Questions
Do people go on dates on Tinder?
Yes, they do. Tinder reports that 1.5 million of its users go on dates per week. That’s a lot of dates every single week. And you just learned how to do it ;).
How long does it take to get dates on Tinder?
How long it takes to get a Date on Tinder depends on a couple of variables: the quality of your profile, your texting skills, and the woman you matched with. Sometimes, you can get a date on the same day, and sometimes it can take up to a week or two. Anything further than that doesn’t usually turn into a date.
When should you go on a date on Tinder?
Timing isn’t as important as most guys think. Instead, you need to give her a reason why you want to see her. This reason should be based on her personality, not looks. If you can name at least 3 reasons from your conversation with her, it’s time to ask her out.
If you want to see how that’s done, check out my article on how to ask a girl out over text.