How to ask for a girl’s number so she can’t wait to text you (4 simple steps)

You meet a woman.

You’re talking.

It’s going well, but…

How do you ask for her number without being rejected?

Most guys try it with small talk. They believe the more you talk, the more likely she’ll give you her number. 

But is it true?

After helping men for over 10 years to attract and keep the woman they want, I can tell you this strategy doesn’t work.

It’s not about quantity. It’s about quality. So, how to ask for a girl’s number? 

That’s what this article is all about. It will show you 4 simple steps to get a girl’s number so she’ll be excited to meet you for a date. 

These steps work in clubs, coffee places, grocery stores, on the street, or wherever you want. 

But that’s not all…

In the next few minutes, I’ll also show you:

• How to ask a girl on a spontaneous date while getting her number
• What exactly to say if you want to get a girl’s number in under 1 minute
• How to ask for a woman’s number on social media or dating apps – Including real-life examples free for you to use
• How to get the number of a female colleague without risking your job
• What to do to overcome any objections if she hesitates to give you her number

Let’s dive in…

How to ask for a girl’s number and get a spontaneous date  

Most men focus way too much on numbers. 

They idealize women’s phone numbers as some kind of trophy. Something to brag about to their friends. Even if it means she will never reply.

But can you go on a proper date with a number? 

Can you have sex with a number?

Can you start a relationship with a number? 

That’s why I want you to see her phone number as what it truly is: Not a trophy, but a means to stay in touch. Nothing more and nothing less. 

I even recommend you only get her phone number as a last resort.

Focus on setting up a date instead. 

Otherwise, you might get a girl’s number but miss out on the chance to date her. I repeatedly notice this when I’m listening in on my clients. They ask for numbers… despite getting clear signals the girls want to be asked out on a date. 

To give you an example:

One of my clients talked to a girl in front of a museum. 

He asked her what she was up to. And she replied: “I’m waiting for the museum to open in 20 minutes.”

But what she actually meant was: “I’m free in the next 20 minutes. We can do something.”

He was so obsessed with getting her number that he missed the hint. So he kept on talking and asked for her number instead. The only problem was that she was leaving town the next day. But he didn’t know that until it was too late. He could have spent the day and probably the night with her if he focused on getting a date instead. 

Another reason why I want you to go on a spontaneous date instead of just getting a number is so you can use the power of what psychologists call the sunk cost fallacy. 

The more time she spends with you, the more invested she’ll become. She’ll reply to your messages faster. And the likelihood of her not showing up to your first date decreases drastically.

That’s why I teach all my clients to prioritize:

1. Go on a spontaneous date: Ask her to have a cup of coffee in the next 20 minutes. After your spontaneous date is over, make plans for your first proper date and get the girl’s number just in case.

If this isn’t possible…

2. Then set up your first date: Save each other’s numbers so you can stay in touch.

If this also isn’t possible…

3. Ask for her digits: So you can connect over text and spark her interest in meeting you. 

Now, let’s take a look at how to get a girl’s number…

4 Steps to get a girl’s phone number 

You must approach before you can ask for her number.

I wrote a stand-alone article showing you how to do this in detail.

Here’s the link:

How to approach women. 

Now, without further ado, here are the four steps to get a girl’s number:

Step #1: Give her a reason why you want her number

She wants to know why you picked her over any other woman. 

This tells her: You know what you want and aren’t needy. I learned this vital lesson from the book Influence by psychology professor Robert Cialdini. In this book, he describes how people are way more likely to follow a request if you give them a reason why.   

And to give her a good reason why… you need to get to know her first. 

You need to dig a little into her interests, character traits, etc.

This will give you that insight you’re looking for to provide her with a good “reason why.”

Step #2: Don’t just ask for the phone number… insist with confidence

Pulling out your phone, holding it in front of her, and telling her to give you her number is much better than hesitating. 

If you hesitate, it gives women the impression you’re not confident.

So take the lead and be straightforward. She will not mind, especially after an exciting conversation. Studieshave shown that most women prefer it if a man takes charge.

But what if you’re too nervous to ask for her number? 

I get it… 

It can be daunting. So what can you do if you feel nervous?

In this case, the trick is to tell her you’re unsure how to ask. 

An example could be:

“You know what? I like how you [positive trait/fact about her], and I would like to know more about you… but I don’t know how to properley ask for your number.“

If you think admitting that you feel nervous or not knowing the answer looks weak, think again. 

Truth is, a woman will respect you for overcoming your fear just for her. It’s what women want from men, among other things. 

You’ll see how well it works once you try this a few times.

Step #3: Call her as soon as you get her number

You have to make sure you have the correct number. 

It would be too sad if you couldn’t contact her because of a typing mistake, right?

This is what happened to my best friend, Phong. He was in a hurry to catch a train. But he saw an attractive woman checking him out. He didn’t want to miss this opportunity. So he started to talk to her and asked for her number before boarding his train. 

There was only one problem. 

He was so nervous that he kept on mistyping her number. 

So she offered to do it herself. He boarded the train full of joy. After finding an empty seat, he wanted to text her. But the number was wrong. She made a mistake because she was nervous too. 

You can imagine how pissed off he was. 

And how often I had to listen to this story. 

Once he cooled off, he asked me what he could have done differently. 

I told him he should have called her on the spot. This way, he could have made sure he got the right number.

Step #4: Give her a nickname when saving her number on your phone

…And save yourself with a funny and cool name on her phone as well.

Why?

That way, you’ll be more memorable and stand out. Use something that came up in the conversation between you two. 

To give you an example: my ex-girlfriend is a scientist. So after I got her number, I saved her as ‘Sexy Scientist’ on my phone. 

That’s it. This is how you ask a girl for her number. Keep these 4 steps in mind next time you meet a woman.

Now I want to answer some of the most common questions about getting a girl’s number. 

What if you have to get a woman’s number quick?

Sometimes she’s in a rush, or you don’t have time to get to know her.

In other words, you won’t always have time to execute the 4 steps you just learned.

In this case, just be honest about it.

Tell her you’d like to get to know her over text. And once you get her number, message her straight away. While you’re fresh on her mind.

Like my client, Tony, after meeting a woman in a bank…

Now, what exactly should you say when you don’t have much time.

Here are two good examples:

1) She’s in a hurry…

“Before you run out of my life forever. You seem like a great person, and I would like to know you better. So let’s exchange numbers and stay in touch.”

2) Your friends are waiting for you…

“My friends are waiting for me. But I would like to get to know you better. Would you be opposed to giving me your number so we can stay in touch?”

How to ask for a girl’s number online

On a dating app, you can just say you’re easier to reach on WhatsApp.

Most likely, she also prefers WhatsApp over dating apps. For that matter, I never met a woman who likes to text on Tinder.

So don’t be surprised if some women will even ask you themselves for your number or social media contacts.

Of course, most girls will not be so direct.

They see it as your job to ask. But it’s effortless if you connect with her.

Here’s an example of how to ask for a girl’s number over text: 

Now, I prefer to ask for her number online if I have already confirmed our date. 

In this case, the number is a formality to text each other if plans change. 

How do I do it?

I ask her out first, then I swap numbers. Usually, the woman will add me and text me herself first. Which shows me clearly she’s interested.

Bonus tip: If you wonder how to get a girl’s number on Instagram?

What works for Tinder will also work on Instagram or Facebook.

How to get the number of a female colleague

If you work together, you have to consider all your co-workers. 

Because…

If they find out about you two, they will start to gossip. It’s human nature. And this could put a strain on your new romance. Even if she likes you, she might consider not dating you because she doesn’t want others to find out. 

The key to getting her number, a date, and more is Discretion. 

You need to show her you can be discreet.

There are two ways to do it:

The first way is to ask for her number in front of others… 

But in such a fashion, no one would ever suspect you want to date her. 

“Hey, Sandra (use a work-related excuse to get her number). What’s the best number I could reach you outside the office to discuss my idea? 

Preferably, while asking her, create sexual tension using your eye contact and body language. This way, only she can sense your true intentions, but no one else. If you’re unsure how, this article will show you how to create sexual tension. 

Once you have her number, text her this:

“Hey, I have to come clean. There is no project. I just didn’t want to make a big fuss in front of everybody. But I like you and would love to get to know you better outside the office.”

It also works very well at parties or the university when asking her out in front of mutual friends. 

The second way is to wait for the right moment to ask her when no one is listening…

Once you’re alone with her, say:

“I didn’t want to announce it in front of everybody. But I like you and would love to hang out outside the office.”

Side tip: Once you start dating, keep it to yourself. 

She will trust you more.

Even though she’ll tell other women in your office about your relationship, guaranteed.

How to ask for a girl’s number at a bar

You can use the 4 steps you discovered before in bars and nightclubs.

But you should consider a few things: 

• Alcohol
• Loud music
• And she’ll get other male attention during the night

You should aim to hook up. But if it’s impossible, then her number is the next best thing. 

Take her somewhere quiet and ask for her number. 

You should save yourself on her phone with a hilarious name and text her immediately. And get her to text you back right on the spot. Even better, continue texting with her throughout the entire evening. 

She needs to remember you as the high point of her night. 

Otherwise, there’s a good chance she might not remember who you are the following day.

What to do if she hesitates to give you her number?

Don’t worry.

It doesn’t mean she’s not interested. It likely means she’s not ready to give you her phone number yet. This can have various reasons, like a bad experience with another guy. No matter what, don’t argue, and don’t get mad. Instead, be non-reactive.

Say, for example:

“Okay, I guess some other guy called you 10,000 times a day until you blocked him.”

And then ask for her Instagram or Facebook contact.

How to ask a girl out after you get her number

Remember, getting a girl’s number shouldn’t be your end goal. 

Her number is a way to stay in touch until you meet up. So don’t focus all your attention on her number. Instead, focus on getting a date with her.

Now, if you got her number but haven’t asked her out yet, don’t worry.

I’ve written an article to show you how to ask a girl out over text. 

Your Efficient Dating Advisor,

Herman The German