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Decoded: 29 best signs a woman is sexually attracted to you

Decoded: 29 best signs a woman is sexually attracted to you

Have you ever met a girl and wondered if she’s into you or not? Wonder no more; here are 29 easy-to-spot signs that she’s totally into you…

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Decoded: 29 best signs a woman is sexually attracted to you

“I missed my chance!”

My friend Phong screamed in disbelief.

One night at our favorite nightclub, a beautiful girl asked him if he wanted to escort her to the bathroom. She displayed all the classic signs a woman is sexually attracted to you.

Instead of going with her, he decided to be a “gentleman” and told her he would wait outside.

An hour later, she ditched him for another guy she went home with.

Like Phong, many guys tend to miss or misinterpret the signs of women. And not just in a club, but also at work, over text, during a date or if a woman is shy, which can make things even more difficult.

So today, I’ll show you 29 clear signs a woman is sexually attracted to you that cover all these different situations.


Table of Contents

Signs a woman is attracted to you sexually

Here are 29 signs a woman is sexually attracted to you:

1. She calls you names – insults you



It’s what you might think. But it’s not a typo. Let me explain: 

Many women express their sexual interest by name-calling. Whenever a woman calls me an idiot, a**hole, or crazy, I know it’s on like Donkey Kong. In fact, all my long-term relationships pretty much started with the girl playfully insulting me.

But, whenever a woman said I was “nice” or a “great guy,” she wasn’t sexually attracted to me. 

I learned this lesson the hard way when my cousin and I competed for the same girl over 10 years ago. She called me a nice guy and him a total a**hole. I thought: “Yes, she likes me more than him.” 

But I saw them walking hand in hand down the streets a few days later. *Ouch*

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Try them, see her answer, and use the messages any time you want, on any girl you like, forever

2. She fights for your attention


Notice how invested she’s in your conversation when you talk to her: 

Is she listening and asking questions?

Look at how her body behaves:

Is she leaning in when you tell her something? 

Or is she looking at her phone, barely listening to you?

In other words: is she “actively participating” in the conversation?

If a woman is into you, she’ll give you all her focus. She might go one step further and turn your boring small talk into a sexual conversation. A client of mine was once out with a couple of co-workers and friends.

A female friend told him out of the blue: “We would make beautiful babies together.”

I cannot think of a more evident sign that she’s into him than that.

3. She plays with her hair


It’s a cliche. 

Yet, it’s true. If a woman plays with her hair, it usually means the girl is attracted to you.

The only problem is this sign can be misleading. 

Some attractive women like gliding through their hair occasionally out of habit. Or it can be a sign that she’s nervous or anxious about something. 

A general rule of thumb: 

If she plays with her hair while displaying other signs, then chances are she’s sexually interested in you. 

4. She smiles with her eyes

Source: Digital Photography School

If she’s smiling, then she’s having a good time. 

The woman is inviting you to get to know her. 

But beware… 

It’s not uncommon for women in the US and other countries to smile a lot when talking to someone. Even a fake smile is okay in the name of being polite. So be careful. 

While a genuine smile is a sign of sexual attraction, a fake smile isn’t. 

How can you spot a fake smile? 

Take a look at her eyes. 

She can fake a smile, but not how her eyes react to whatever you say.

5. She laughs at your dumb jokes


I’m not saying your jokes suck. 🙂

But if they do, and she laughs about them anyway, you can be sure the girl likes you.

It means the girl wants you to like her. If a woman feels attracted to you, she almost cannot help but laugh. It’s like a reflex. 

So if you have a female coworker who giggles at everything you say, chances are pretty high that she’s interested in you.

6. She tries to get close to you any chance she gets


If the woman is coming closer, she wants to be in your presence. 

I mean, why else would she try to be physically close to you? 

Think of yourself as a sexual attraction magnet. 

She cannot explain why, but she’s magically pulled towards you.

7. She touches you (a massive sign of sexual attraction)


This is a powerful sign a woman is sexually attracted to you. 

Women love to touch and be touched. Their skin is 10 times more sensitive than ours. Remember, she needs to trust you first before it’s okay for you to touch her. 

Now, if she takes the initiative and touches you first, the girl invites you to make a move, especially if you’re on a date with her. 

So if you have thought about kissing her, now is a great time to go for it.

8. She crosses her legs


This means she’s not planning to walk away.

She’s interested in what you say and wants to continue the conversation. Keep doing whatever you’re doing. Because it seems to work, and she enjoys spending time with you.  

It’s the sign I look for the most when approaching women in the streets. 

If she starts crossing her legs while standing, I know she’s sexually attracted to me at some level. All I have to do is not screw things up by saying something stupid. 

So I can ask for her number

9. She’s dressed to impress 



One of my clients went on a first date. 

He was super excited and dressed up nicely. Unfortunately, she didn’t put much effort into her outfit or makeup that day. Long story short: she wasn’t interested in him romantically. 

They ended up being ‘friends.’ 


Sometime later, he meets another girl online. He wanted to talk with her over Skype. But she never agreed to have a video call with him for some reason. At first, he thought she was not interested.

But later, when they finally met in person, she admitted she felt uncomfortable talking to him without putting on some makeup first.

Beautiful women don’t want you to see them without makeup or being appropriately dressed. 

This changes once you’re in a relationship and she feels comfortable enough to show you her natural self.  

The only exception to this rule is if she’s worried about running late for your first date. 

Then she would rather be less pretty than miss out on seeing you. 

10. She drops serious hints


She’s stroking the tip of her wine glass.

You don’t need to be a rocket scientist to figure out which part of your body the wine glass represents. *Ay caramba*

She’s attracted to you sexually. Big time!

I’ve noticed particularly women already in a relationship often tend to do this. 

In other words, this is one of the most prominent signs a married woman is sexually attracted to you. 

These women tend to be sexually frustrated because of husbands who neglect them. Scientific studies confirm this. 

It’s up to you whether you want to act on this sign. My advice is that even though she’s attracted to you sexually, you should wait until they get a divorce. 

From experience, I can tell you things can get messy dating a woman in a serious relationship.

11. She keeps prolonged eye contact to create sexual tension


This is a clear sign that has been proven by plenty of studies.

Whenever you see something that interests you, your pupils start to dilate. I don’t expect you to measure how much her pupils are dilated. But you’ll undoubtedly feel it if a girl holds prolonged eye contact with you.

If she keeps staring at you, it’s a powerful sign that she is attracted to you sexually.

Just remember this:

Many women are shy and might look you in the eyes only for a few seconds. It doesn’t mean they don’t like you. 

They simply cannot handle the sexual tension created through eye contact.

12. She refreshes her lipstick


If you’re on a date, check if she’s wearing lipstick

This is an excellent sign. It means she already thought about kissing you before the date.

Now, if a girl is refreshing her lipstick in the middle of your date, you can take it as a vital sign she’s ready to be kissed. Sometimes she’ll reapply her lipstick in front of you, and other times she might go to the bathroom first. 

I made it a habit to always check her lips when she returned from the restroom. 

13. She imitates you


This is a very subtle sign.

Because it’s pretty hard to notice when talking to her, especially if you’re unaware of it. Scientists have a name for this behavior:

It’s called mirroring.

Women tend to do this subconsciously to heighten their sex appeal. They want to make you feel comfortable in their presence by imitating your behavior. 

So you recognize yourself in her and think you have so much in common.

14. She looks at your lips


Every dating coach agrees:

A woman looking at your lips is thinking about kissing you.

But it can be hard to catch her glimpse because she might look at your lips briefly and then look away.

This is usually one of the signs a shy girl is sexually attracted to you.

They tend to hesitate to express their desire.

15. She bites her lips


It’s sexy. 

But what does it mean? 

It’s her way of showing you did or said something that triggered her desire for sex. This happens mostly after you whisper in her ear, say something sexually, or look her in the eyes for a long time. 

All those things create sexual tension she wants to release.

16. Her friends tell you that she’s into you


Women consult their friends about who they should or shouldn’t date.

They do it way more often than men. For them, it’s unimaginable not to discuss a guy she could end up in a relationship with. They almost keep no secrets from each other. 

So if you’re lucky, they might share her little secret with you.

Signs a shy girl is sexually attracted to you 

A shy woman is more cautious about expressing her sexuality in public. It doesn’t mean that she won’t display all the signs I mentioned to you before. But more often than not, she’ll choose to show her interest in you in more subtle ways: 

17. She checks out all your stories

A shy woman likes all the stories of my Italian client.

If a shy woman is into you, she’ll find her inner stalker.

Be prepared to see her watching all your Instagram and WhatsApp stories, liking your Facebook posts, etc. The reason she does this is that she’s curious about you. She wants to know everything: What you like and don’t like. How you spend your day, and who you spend it with. Do you have a girlfriend, or are you single?

She’ll even go that far and find your ex’s profile to see what kind of girl you’re into. 

18. She looks away (the shy gaze)


I call it the 2-Second Rule…

If a shy girl is really into you, she’ll maintain eye contact for 2 seconds and then look away to the side.

And when you’re not looking, she’ll look at you again. But if you look back, she’ll look away again. And the cycle continues until you break it. 

It’s a clear invitation to go over and talk to her. 

19. She finds excuses to spend time with you 


She won’t tell you that she’s into you.

But she’ll show it by inviting you to events, signing up for groups you’re a member of, attending events you’ll be at, etc. 

She’ll do anything just to spend some time with you.

She’s hoping by spending more time together, you’ll start seeing her great qualities and ask her out.

20. She turns red 


As an exchange student in Melbourne, I met a group of female students from Korea.

One girl in particular caught my interest. She was cute but also very shy. We talked, and she asked me if I knew any words in Korean. Without thinking, I just said the first word that popped into my mind. It was the Korean word for a blowjob.  

She turned red instantly. Was it the smartest thing to say at the time? It wasn’t. But I could see in her reaction that she liked me. If a shy girl flirts with the guy she likes, she’ll turn red like an anime character. 

That being said, you don’t need to be as vulgar as I was. 

Signs a woman is attracted to you sexually at work 

Dating at work is dangerous nowadays. 

One wrong move and you can lose your job. So look out for these signs to avoid an awkward rejection in front of your coworkers: 

21. She asks about your weekend


One time, she might do it out of politeness. 

But if she’s doing it constantly, it’s a pretty good sign that she’s interested in you. It’s her sneaky way to figure out whether you’re single. And to see what type of guy you’re outside of work. Also, if she’s telling you about her weekend and how it was nothing special, she’s giving you an opportunity to ask her out. 

She’s indirectly begging you to make her next weekend special. 😉

22. She spends a lot of time around you in the office 


It’s your lunch break, and she is there…

It’s your next work project, and she is there…

It’s your morning meeting, and she is there… 


A woman is usually much better at playing office politics than a man. So she’ll use it to her advantage to spend as much time as possible with the guy she wants.

If you see her at a meeting where she doesn’t have to be or volunteer for a project, just because you are there, then it’s a huge sign she’s into you. 

23. Hitting on you at the Christmas party


It’s tradition:

The Christmas party hook-up.

But if a woman is into you, she’s waiting all year for the perfect excuse to hit on you. And the Christmas party is the perfect cover. She can blame the alcohol for coming on to you. 

So if she starts to flirt and mentions how many drinks she had, make a move. 

24. She’s sending you private messages on LinkedIn

A client of mine texts with a woman on LinkedIn.

LinkedIn is often the only social media you can use during office hours.

Your boss won’t get a heart attack seeing it on your desktop. 

It’s for professional purposes only, right?

Well, if a female coworker sends you private non-work-related messages, chances are she’s sexually attracted to you. It’s the perfect cover for an office flirt. Your boss will think you’re just drumming up some business, not a date. 

Also, if she’s in a relationship, it’s the only social media a jealous boyfriend won’t check. So she can flirt with you without getting any backlashes at home.

Signs a girl is attracted to you sexually over text 

Most likely, you’re using dating apps, and it can be tough to figure out whether a woman likes you on Tinder or not. So to help you in your virtual dating life, I included the best 5 signs a woman is sexually attracted to you via text. 

And to put a cherry on top, all the following explanations will include real-life examples from my clients and me.

25. She texts you first

If you have a great dating profile, some women will text you first because they’re afraid, you might not contact them.

You can get women to text you first with the right profile.

But why would they do it? 

First, they’ll reach out because they are sexually attracted to you. And second, they don’t want other women to have the chance to meet you before they do. 

Science shows women are very competitive about finding a great guy. 

The good thing is every man can create a dating profile that makes women text him first no matter his looks or finances. For example, you can steal one of my best and simplest Tinder bio here to get started.

All it takes is a bit of effort and a genuine understanding of what women want from men.

26. She sends you very long text messages

She’s investing heavily in the conversation. It’s a very good sign she’s interested in meeting in person soon.

Some women will start opening up to you even after your first text message.

This will happen quite often if you learn how to text women properly. 

One quick tip: 

If you want her to open up to you, you have to open up first. 

Instead of just telling her what your hobby is, tell her what you love about it and why.

27. She sends you sexy pics or talks dirty

Disclaimer: This text exchange happened between two consensual adults. To respect her privacy, I’ve hidden her name and face.

Women aren’t stupid.

They know what turns men on. 

If a woman is extremely attracted to you sexually, she’ll make her intentions very clear.


She’ll try to show off her feminine attributes as much as possible to trigger your desire for her. Sometimes she’ll do it even before you meet her in person.

But this is the exception and not the rule.

Most women will only feel comfortable sending you explicit images once she’s dating you.

28. She asks you out

If you have the deadly combo of a good dating profile + texting skills, some women will ask you out.

Of all the signs via text, this one is the most obvious.

What more do you want? 

She’s asking you out for a coffee date. It can be as direct as in the example before, but most women will be a bit more subtle.

She might tell you there’s a new coffee shop she wants to try out. 

Hoping you catch her hint and ask if she would like to go on the weekend with you.

29. She asks you what she should wear

She asks me which dress I like to make a good impression.

Women are nervous before a first date, just like you. 

While you worry about what to say on the date or when to kiss her, she mostly worries about her looks. She wants to make sure she looks her best for you. So she wonders if her hair looks good and if you’ll like how she smells, etc. 

She wants to make sure you feel sexual attraction towards her as much as possible.

Your next step…

“Just do it.” 

It’s the slogan of Nike and good advice on what you should do next.

Whenever you see a sign a woman is sexually attracted to you, it’s an invitation for you to act.

For example, if she looks at you for a long time, she wants you to approach her. 

The only question now is how?

Don’t worry. I got you covered. I put together a template including 7 real-life examples you can instantly copy-paste to start a flirty conversation with a woman (both in real life and online):

Click here to steal my unique conversation starter to get her interested in you

Your Efficient Dating Advisor,

Herman The German


Guten Tag, I’m Herman the German, original inventor of the Efficient Dating Systems Made in Germany.

I help smart, single men finally get and keep the girl they really want.

Using my background as a Frankfurt-trained financial engineer, I went on a quest to find dating patterns that truly work – my friends asked me to use my cold analytical skills to help them notice recurring patterns in their dating life.

This has been my single obsession since 2012.

Throughout my decade-long research, I was interviewed by German media, curious to know what I’d identified. And I was invited on many occasions to talk on stage as a guest expert – although I prefer the term life-long learner as I keep discovering new principles and techniques in my private practice.

As an introduction to my systems, I’m offering you to try my proven conversation starter template to make almost any woman interested in you, at no cost.

Claim your welcome gift now at: www.becomeherman.com/discover/

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